


Never Ending Story

by Usagi_Mitsu



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Bad Decisions, Conflicting Feelings, Dancing, Dating, Dealing with PTSD, Diverging Paths, Emotional Trauma, Epica - Freeform, F/M, FFXIV Spoilers, Found Family, Friendship, Gimlyth Dark, Gridania, Healthy Relationships, Holminster Switch, Lightwardens, Little Ladies Day, Loss, Love, Missed Opportunities, Missing someone deeply, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Past, Regret, Romance, Shell shocked, Sin Eaters, Slow Burn, Songfic but not really a Sonfic, Spring, Switch between Past and Present, Within Temptation, happiness, lyrics, present, rerurning feelings, team fights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2020-07-20 13:31:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usagi_Mitsu/pseuds/Usagi_Mitsu
Summary: Warning to all who have not finished FFXIV Shadowbringers yet: There will be spoilers!A journey. An unknown destination. Old friends. Old feelings. Old loves. Old dreams. Forgotten things.A romantic story between the Warrior of Light and G'Raha Tia. This is basically the prologue to myexplicitstoryAlways You, in which the build up and history of the characters will be explored.Each chapter will include an accompanying song, whose creator and title will be posted in the beginning notes of each chapter. The overall theme isNeverending Storyby Within Temptation.We're part of a storyPart of a taleWe're all on this journeyNo one's to stayWhere is it goingWhat is the way





	1. Table of Contents, List of Songs & OCs

* * *

_**Table of Contents** _

* * *

**Bittersweet - Prologue in the Past**

If she could be fast enough. Just... just fast enough.

 **Dangerous - Chapter I in the Present**

Returning from Ishgard, Shia takes the time to breath and visit a few old friends and memories.

 **Memories - Chapter II in the Past**

When overthinking and overwork takes a toll on you, you may always rely on your friends.

 **Iron - Chapter III in the Present**

When you visit a new world, does it chance you? How do you control your anger? And how do you break a bad habit?

**Élan Part I - Chapter IV in the Past**

An unexpected visitor arrives at the Rising Stones and meets an overly tired Shia.

**Broken Crown - Chapter V in the Past**

He speaks of so many things, but keeps so many more close to his chest. How do you trust a person, when you have no evidence of their sincerety? When you cannot even look them in the eyes?

**Élan Part II - Chapter VI in the Past**

With no family to take care of, with no direction in life and no goals beyond surviving to see the next day, her work for the Scions gave her what no other employer could – a purpose. And she liked this purpose.

**If Inside these Walls was a House Part I - Chapter VII in the Present**

There was so much to tell and much more to discuss. Of course, they would probably not get to the meat of all there was to talk about, but simply checking in with each other and listening to what each of them had been up to would be a nice change of pace.

**If Inside these Walls was a House Part II - Chapter VIII in the Present**

But – oh – how he yearned to join her. To hone his skills and help her defend Eorzea from enemies far and wide. How he had hoped to one day join her in her travels. Or to ask her to join him in discovering ancient tombs and in uncovering age old mysteries. And if all that was just too much to ask, he would have been content with one more spring dance in Gridania.

_To be continued ..._

**The grand Finale, that takes place after this story:[Always you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19791733)** (Warning: Explicit and **so** NSFW!)

* * *

_**Songs and Artists mentioned so far** _

* * *

(in order of mention)

 ** _Bittersweet_ **by Within Temptation  
(Prologue)

 ** _Dangerous_** by Within Temptation   
(Chapter I)

 ** _Memories_** by Within Temptation   
(Chapter II)

 _ **Iron**_ by Within Temptation   
(Chapter III)

 _ **Élan** _by Nightwish  
(Chapter IV & VI)

 ** _Broken Crown_** by Mumford & Sons  
(Chapter V)

 ** _If Inside these Walls was a House_** by Epica  
(Chapter VII & VIII)

* * *

_**Original Characters** _

* * *

**Shia Tamriel**

The Warrior of Light and comrade of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. A young Miqo'te Seeker of the Sun, who grew up in an orphanage close to Gridania. There isn't much known about her past otherwise and she keeps most of it to herself. She loves her friends and would literally die for them. Though she tries not to get herself killed too soon and laughs death in his ugly face at every opportunity.


	2. Bittersweet - Prologue in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If I tell you, Will you listen, will you stay? Will you be here forever? Never go away?_  
>  Bittersweet by Within Temptation
> 
> **If she could be fast enough. Just... just fast enough.**

_If I tell you_  
_Will you listen, will you stay?_  
_Will you be here forever?_  
_Never go away?_

* * *

The two huge doors were still open.

_There is still time,_ she assured herself, speeding up her steps an. Her tail helping with the balance, she simply jumped across the former thresholds of the Eight Sentinels, leaving her friends far behind.

She couldn’t wait for them. Someone had to reach the tower. Someone needed to keep it open. Someone had to do something.

And she was finally there, taking the last steps up to the entrance two at a time. With her last steps, she yelled: “G’Raha!”

“No step further my friend!”

She came to a slithering stop, almost falling face first across the huge door step. As soon as she had found her balance again, she looked up and around. There, coming down the large staircase was he, the red haired annoyance she had come to care about so much. He was sporting a sad smile and greeted her with a meek wave of his hand. His usually so very expressive tail though, was hanging low, almost unmoving.

“I figured you’d be coming. I just didn’t anticipate your arrival so soon,” he walked up to the door and stopped there. Right in front of her.

“… I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I suggest you get out of there now and we talk this over.”

“Shia…”

“Don’t ‘Shia’ me,” her face was burning, her ears pulled down in restraint. She wanted to shout but she couldn’t. Wouldn’t risk hurting or scarring him. “You get out there this instant and I swear, I will stop tickling you for as long as you like!”

* * *

_Never thought things would change_  
_Hold me tight_  
_Please don't say again_  
_That you have to go_

* * *

“… what do you want me to say-“

“Nothing! Just get out here and-“

“Go no further my friends,” he suddenly yelled with his gaze fixed at something behind her, “the doors will close ere long!”

“What’s the meaning of all this?” Finally. After what felt like ages, Cid and the others had arrived. Rambroes was panting harshly. The scholar wasn’t used to running she figured.

“He doesn’t want to leave the tower,” Shia felt her forehead wrinkle. “And I don’t know why.”

Rammbroes, the tall dark skinned Roegadyn crossed his arms, “so you are of a mind to seal the tower, G’Raha.”

Shias ears twitched back and forth between focusing on Rammbroes and back on G’Raha. _Sealing the tower..?_

“I know time is of the essence, but all I ask is a hint of your plan. Please, come here so we can discuss this.”

But G’Raha did not move any further towards. All he did, was give his companions a slight nod. “... No. My apologies, but I cannot.”

“Come, man,” the Roegadyn thundered, “what is this nonsense? If aught is amiss, surely we can help!”

“Y-yes,” she dared to add, “whatever it is, we can help. Remember, there is no foe I cannot vanquish, no riddle you cannot solve. If we all stand together, we can solve anything!”

“Hear, hear!” Wedge chimed in.

* * *

_A bitter thought I had it all_  
_But I just let it go_  
_Oh, this silence it's so violent_  
_Since you're gone_

* * *

A sad smile swirled across his lips. “Not this time, my friends. Just as Unei and Doga fulfilled their destiny, so too must I fulfill mine. My blood has awakened me to this fact.”

It was now, that her expression changed from concernet to bewildered. “... your blood..? Are you sure it is your … blood? And not some Voidsent trying to destroy the last son of Allag?” Calling him that felt rather strange, but he was, for a matter of fact, the last son of the Allagan empire.

G’Raha laughed. It wasn’t his usual hearthy, warm laugh, but a much smaller one. It sounded almost sad. “No, I can assure you that it was indeed my blood. You have defeated all Voidsent they sent so far, remember? But …" and both his smile and laughter vanished in an instant, “as my father told me, the truth has always lain with Allag. Or, rather, ‘twas there the wish I must grant was born.” He turned around to gaze upon Allags most prized relic.

“You see, not all the world perished in Xande’s calamity. Survivors stood amidst the ruins of Allag, looking to the Crystal Tower. But it was nowhere to be seen. Yet,” his voice grew a bit louder with each word, echoing through the high halls of crystal and gold, “they hoped its spires would again dominate the land, and prayed that the Crystal Tower would be a beacon of hope to people everywhere. Word of this soon reached the only member of Allag’s royalty to outlive the empire: the princess Salina. And she was moved by the people’s dearest wish. She used the very best of Allag’s technology to give her blood and memories to he whom she trusted most. That man was my forebearer. For millennia, we waited. Allag’s art and ingenuity faded. Our royal blood grew thin. But before the last drop could vanish from the realm, the memory of all this returned to me.”

“You mean,” Shia chimed in, “the princesses' child with that same man was your forebearer, right? Blood? Memories? This all sounds like-”

“Nonsense? It must,” G’Raha nodded, “to you who has not yet studied the Allagan ruins as I have.”

She shook her head, ignoring the implication that she did not understand what he was talking about, “Rammbroes, Cid – please tell me he is speaking nonsense. He must have hit his head when we fled the World of Darkness or-”

“Shia …" Cid carefully placed a hand on her shivering shoulder.

The red haired Miqo’te took a deep breath. “And now,” he continued, “I must fulfill the wish of the ancients. The tower will shine forth as a new beacon of hope.”

“G’Raha, the Crystal Tower’s strengh poses too great a threat to Eorzea now.” The hand on her shoulder tensed. “We would need technology as advanced as Allag’s to use it correctly. As things stand, we barely understand thte tower’s workings. Hells, we may never fully comprehend them.”

_Says the most talented of all Garlean engineers,_ she thought. There was something wet on her cheek and she slowly lifted her eyes towards the sky to see, if it might have started to rain. But the blue heavens betrayed her expectations.

“’Tis as you say, Cid. We could wait for someone, someday, to reach the same heights as Allag, but by then we will have lost the royal blood and the means to control the tower.”

_There is his reason._

“But what if I do as Xande did, and put the tower into a deep sleep?”

_No, please,_ another tear dripped across her cheek, _don’t. Don’t do this. Don’t make me watch you do this. WHY AM I SO HELPLESS?!_

It wasn’t only her. Everyone was taken aback.

“What,” it was now Cid, who almost yelled, “you cannot mean that!”

Finally, G’Raha turned back around. Steeled resolve on his face. “I am deadly serous, Cid. The tower may only be used once men rival the Allagans in knowledge. I will slumber within Syrcus Tower until then, to greet those with the means to open the gate. Then, I will guide them. And thus will the tower shine forth as the beacon of hope it was meant to be. ‘Tis the only way to make the wishes of the ancients come true.”

His eyes flashed back to her. A hint of guilt appeared on his face, his lips parted, as if to say something. But he closed his now red orbs and seemingly swallowed whatever words her distress had inspired in him.

“The future …" he began anew, “... is where my destiny awaits.” He raised his head toward her again, the resolve clearly written all over his face, “but yours lies outside of these doors. Go. Create a future where hope reigns, and the tragedies of the past are but memories. No one but you can accomplish such things.” A tiny smile.

“Nothing we say will make you change your mind, will it?” Cid slid his hand onto her armoured back and started rubbing it reassuringly.

Another nod. Another resolved glance at her.

“Onwards to a brighter future … It won’t be easy, of course,” the engeneer rolled his shoulders back and cracked his knuckles, “but that’s exactly why we’ll do it!”

“W-We’ll catch up with Allag, just you wait! We’ll cover all that lost ground before you even know it!” The tiny Wedge was screaming his heart out. And his friend Biggs promised: “Well said, Wedge! It’ll only be a few years before we come knocking, G’Raha. Then you’re in for a rude awakening!”

Even Rammbroes seemed fine with it. “You shall be witness to NOAH’s accomplishments. Pray keep alive our successes, and forgive us our failures,” he sounded almost as if he was praying, “and may we meet again, my friend.”

G’Raha nodded and finally smiled confidently at his friends, “the Twelve keep you till then, Rammbroes. I look forward to learning of your exploits. And you, Shia-” he finally turned back to face her, “I know history will remember you. No doubt your heroism will be the star by which I chart my course when I awake.”

* * *

_All my thoughts are with you forever_  
_Until the day we'll be back together_  
_I will be waiting for you_

* * *

“...” her words got stuck in her throat, “heroism? That’s it? Those are your last words to me? Do you really mean to do this? Do you really mean to do this like … well. This?” She bit her lower lip.

He had a point. Yes. But why did he have to do this. Why now. Why at all. Why did he treat her so cold. Had none of the last months meant anything. _Anything at all?_

To protect mankind. But that’s what she was for, right? Protecting the people had kind of become her thing, with the people calling her the Warrior of Light and everything. And hadn’t she just proven that she could protect them even from stronger foes than living on Hydaelin?

* * *

_If I had told you_  
_You would have listened_  
_You had stayed_  
_You would be here forever_

* * *

“Shia…” G’Rahas voice was soft, almost apologetic, “I will never forget you. All this time by your side… I was so happy. So very happy… probably the most happy I have ever been. Thank you,” he smiled gently, “but now I must rest. Recalling so much has put me in the mood for sleep.”

Another nod. “Farewell, my friends. I eagerly await a future born of your courage and the ancients’ wish.”

She started reaching out, but the two huge wings fell shut before she could mutter another world. Instead, her fingers scraped across the ancient metal, forming into fists and slowly pounding at the door.

“You didn’t even give me a kiss goodbye,” she managed to press out. Eyes shut, hot tears streaming down her face as she leaned at the door, her arms weakly pounding against the metal. “You promised to go on an adventure with me. How dare you break your promise. How dare you. How dare you.” Whispers. Whispers meant for someone, who had just left her world. He hadn’t died. But he might as well had. Reopening the doors was more than a lifetime away.

She felt two strong hands on her shoulders and Cids voice rang in her ears. It was distant. As distant as she felt.

* * *

_Never went away_  
_It would never have been the same_  
_All our time would have been in vain_  
_'Cause you had to go_

* * *

“I’m sorry, my friend.” His hands were heavy. Finally, she turned around, her bright blue eyes still filled to the brim with tears.

“He promised,” she whispered and leaned against her companion's broad chest.

“I know,” Cids Arms closed around her. A comforting gesture. “We will get him out of there. That is my promise,” he muttered into her flattened ear.

“But not any time soon,” she pulled up her arms to squeeze him. “I need to go,” she took a step to the side and a deep breath, “I’m expected in Uld’ah tonight and I should get going if I mean to not keep the host waiting.”

Shia dried her tears on her sleeve. A shake of her head and her distraught face vanished in favour of her usual smile. The eyes were still slightly red though and she hadn’t done a good job of drying her cheeks.

“Let’s go.”

And together, they walked back to the camp. When reaching the aetheryte in Revenant's Toll, she would look back for just a moment.

* * *

_The sweetest thought I had it all_  
_'Cause I did let you go_  
_All our moments keep me warm_  
_When you're gone_

_All my thoughts are with you forever_  
_Until the day we'll be back together_  
_I will be waiting for you_

* * *

“Farewell, G’Raha Tia,” she whispered and banished him from her thoughts.

There was so much yet to do. And no time to waste.

Uld’ah was awaiting her arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the Prologue to Neverending Story! I hope you enjoyed reading so far and might have a look at the coming chapters. 
> 
> Thank you so much & have the best day!


	3. Dangerous - Chapter I in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I know I won't change, I have tried. Was feeling so caged, hands tied. I can't find anything feeling so right, it's blinding hope._  
>  Dangerous by Within Temptation
> 
> **Returning from Ishgard, Shia takes the time to breath and visit a few old friends and memories.**

_I_ _know I won't change, I have tried_

_Was feeling so caged, hands tied_   
_I can't find anything feeling so right,_   
_it's blinding hope_

_The reaper is close, seen his smile_   
_A matter of time, can't deny_   
_I won't turn around, around, around_   
_This destiny's mine_

_The countdown has begun_   
_the walls are falling down_   
_my life is on the line_   
_the freedom is mine_

* * *

The air in Mor Dhona was cold. A slight wind blew. It gently tugged at her tattered clothes and blew her long hair across her face. Some of it got stuck on her chipped lips. She had embalmed them with an ointment, after they had broken up and started bleeding for the fifth time, making them a magnet for dust, dirt and hair. She had gotten it as a “get well” present from Emmanellain after resting up in Camp Dragonhead.

She didn’t look much better beneath her clothes: The Gimlyth Dark had already left her bruised, but the battle with Elidibus and her subsequent coma had graced her with a few broken bones and cuts. Nothing that the talented chirurgeons of Ishgard couldn’t heal, but also nothing that would heal in one sitting.

But staying in bed was no option. No option at all. If she had stayed in the infirmary any longer, she would have lost her mind. Everybody was so nice and caring. Just what she didn’t need at the moment. Everybody gushing over her. Making her feel even more incompetent. Guilty. Weak.

And oh how guilty she felt. She had already known, that Zenos body had been possessed by an Ascian and the only culprit could have been Elidibus. She had known what she had gotten herself into. And she had known, that the mysterious voice had been calling her. She should have been prepared for it. But she hadn’t been. In the heat of the moment, she had charged in there to protect her friends. And they were all right. But she had almost gotten herself killed. And the only one responsible was she herself. And if he wasn’t the amazing Dragoon he was, Estinien might have died, too. And that she could have never forgiven herself for. Even if she had died.

Thank the twelve they were both still alive. At least, according to Ser Aymeric, Estinien had made it out fine after delivering her to his arms.

Her cheeks prickled a bit thinking about it.

About him having abandoned the front to bring _her_ all the way to Ishgard, to make sure she would be save and cared for by his best men. He even waited for her to wake up. If that had happened to her a few months prior, she would have squealed like a little girl or simply blacked out again. Oh how she had been crushing on the handsome Speaker of the House of Lords. The Lord Commander of the Temple Knights.

Her ears fluttered at the thought.

But now? After months of fighting to free Ala Mhigo and Doma, she had finally cooled off. Yes, he cared about her. He had shown this time again and again. But she had always known, that there was no way, that he would ever feel more than gratitude and friendship towards her. He was calm, collected and composed. The three Cs she never was. Never would or could be.

Shia Tamriel was a thunderstorm of energy, always first in line for a fight and rushing head first into battle. She burned hot and fast, while he was more of a smouldering ember. And when he wasn’t leading his men into battle, he was stuck in Ishgard, while she was roaming Hydaelins lands, always in danger of a gruesome death – laughing Primals and Ascians smile in the face.

They would never work. Even if he had shown a romantic interest in her.

A smile spread on her lips, as she made her way towards Silvertear Lake. Was this growth? Well, it had taken her long enough.

Leaving the road, she made her way towards one of the crystalline ledges. As the Crystal Tower came into view, her smile faltered. Her brows curled, she breathed in the clear air and slowly rose her head.

There it stood. That beautiful structure of crystal that she had once rushed to clean out. That annoyingly huge structure, that was dominating Mor Dhonas landscape. It had only been months since she had returned from it’s doorsteps with the Iron Works and the Sons of Saint Coinach.

But it felt like years had passed.

* * *

_I know it's not safe, close my eyes_  
 _I search for the edge of life_  
 _'cause that's the only place I'll ever find_  
 _that makes me whole_

_I  
_

_A thief in the night, out of sight_   
_It's out there waiting to ignite_   
_the fever will rise, rise, rise_   
_taking over my mind_

_The countdown has begun_   
_the walls are falling down_   
_my life is on the line_   
_the freedom is mine..._

* * *

The metal was singing. With each expert stroke of her hand, it’s high pitched song rang through the camp Saint Coinach’s Find. A few sparks would fly, too, and she had to be careful not to set her breeches on fire.

It was early evening. The sun was slowly fading behind Silver Tear lake in the west and since for once the aetherical mist wasn’t covering the area, all the shards were bathed in a warm orange red. Still, it was a bit chilly, being in the close proximity of Coerthas after all and Shia was grateful for her warming gambeson.

After a few more strokes along the edges with a whetstone, she grabbed a dirty piece of cloth and started to carefully polish the metal grip and the ornaments. With a small brush she cleaned out the dirt and dried blood from the intricate carvings of Gae Bolg, the weapon she had inherited from her teacher.

“Keep your weapon clean and sharp” Master Alberic used to say, whenever he had caught her with a dirty lance. And she was not going to give him any more reasons to scold her. If possible.

Therefore, she had gotten used to spending her evenings cleaning up her days work. If she had a squire like the Dragoons of Ishgard, she could just hand it over to them. But since she was not a “true” and recognised Dragoon, she wasn’t allowed to have a squire. Not, that she wanted to get one-off person into her troubles anyways.

 _I do hope they are going to sort this out soon,_ Shia thought, a smile curling around her rosy lips, _with Estinien and me both being called the Azure Dragoon, there might be hierarchy issues when it comes to who leads the Dragoon squads. Do they have to listen to my commands? Not, that I have any way of contacting them. But still …_

Shia put the brush away and jumped onto her feet. Her long bushy blonde tail curled up a bit.

“Now, let’s see,” she mumbled and pulled her lance through the air. Effortless. As if she was splitting it.

A smirk.

And she jumped up, twirling her lance around and around, the sharpened edge sizzling through the air. One, two flips. And she landed on her toes, rolled off her foot and hunkered down to take off the strain from her back.

“That was impressive.”

She looked up and locked her eyes with an uneven pair.

“If I had stood a few malms closer I would be fish fodder,” a huge grin opened up on the male Miqo’tes face. His mismatched red and green eyes were glowing with excitement.

“Please do keep your distance when I’m working with my lance,” she quipped and placed the weapon back into its halter on her back, “don’t you know? Never straddle a Dragoon?”

“I can’t say I ever heard of this one. Is it an Eorzean saying?”

“Oh dear, you really are not from around here, are you?” She sighed over dramatically and winked.

“I apologise for my lacking true knowledge of Eorzean customs,” he held his hand to his forehead as if he was about to die and both of them burst into laughter.

“… so … what can I do for you?” It took Shia a moment to calm herself down. The guy just knew how to lighten up the mood.

“Yes, you see,” and he held up a small notebook, a quill and ink, “you already told me about Phlegeton. I was wondering what and who else you might have encountered?” His furry ears were propped up in excitement.

Shia weighed her head to the side, “so you wanted to know about that … well,” and she fell back down onto the box she had sat on before.

G’Raha made himself comfortable on a barrel next to her. “Please tell me everything – spare no detail – as minor as it might seem like!”

Shias eyes widened a bit, “alright … uhm … where to begin..?” She fumbled with her fingers and started to nervously mess up the hair on her tails tip. “Please, I have never done this. Like, nobody ever asked me about what I actually encountered so … uhm”

He nodded. “It’s fine. Just start at the beginning.” And his huge smile almost took her breath away.

Never before. Truly never, had anybody taken this much interest in her or her adventures. Not even the Scions would ask her about the enemies she faced. The ones anybody ever cared about were Ascians, Garleans, Primals and – oh yes – Ascians. Have I mentioned Ascians? Of course, those were the most important of foes - to fight primals was what she had actually been hired for, since she possessed the echo. And so she did without questioning, never asking for more.

But over time, they had grown closer. From mere colleagues in fighting primals, to friends who would face every challenge in life together: Be it the ever looming threat of summonings, the Garlean invasion or Ascians. And ever since the raiding of the Waking Sands, the job had become so time consuming, that there wasn’t really time for Shia to do other things. Like other, simpler jobs that she was used to as a normal adventurer. Or keeping up with her old adventuring group, who had long moved on from Eorzea towards the south of Ilsabard by the time Shia called on them to help with Operation Archon. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn had become her friends and primary contacts in Eorzea. If she didn’t know, what to do, she would stay in the newly opened Rising Stones and talk to some of the less occupied members, like F'lhaminn or Arenvald, the later one always being up for a sparring session or a few drinks at least. They were friends, yes. But it felt more like a work relationship than anything. Especially, since she couldn’t share half of the things on there mind with him.

And there was a lot to think about: Operation Archon, Thancred being possessed by an Ascian, having to put up with the Crystal Braves ("Who do they actually think they are?! Somebody needs to slap some sense back into them!”), Alphinaud being a loveable little shite (“I am not his servant, but yet he keeps telling me to run his errands! Did nobody ever teach him humility?”), the Syndicate, Moenbrydas death and now her engagement with the Garlond Ironworks to help clear out the Crystal Tower.

Actually, how was there so much going on in her life? Of course there was no time to talk about the smaller things in her life, with everyone being constantly on the edge and verge of rushing headfirst towards danger again.

And here she was, her link pearl silent for a change, with a young student of Baldesion, who wanted to know about her latest adventure. About how she had cleared the Labyrinth of the Ancients and what she had encountered. He wasn’t asking for a mission report, the essentials or where she was headed next. But about what actually had happened.

"… is aught amiss?” The slightly concerned voice of G’Raha Tia caught her ear and Shia shook her head in response.

“I’m sorry, I am not used to being asked to explain my mission in great detail. But I will try to paint the picture for you as good as I can!”

“Your mission,” the student tilted his head slightly, “wouldn’t you call it an adventure? I mean … Mission sounds so very formal.”

She thought for a moment. “You are right, but since I was tasked to clear the Labyrinth and help with this instead of going because …" Shia slowly trailed off when she spotted the rather sad look of disappointment on her companions face. “... it was an adventure! Of course!” She raised her arms and gave him the biggest smile she could muster.

G’Rahas ears fluttered up. “Alright! An adventure! Now, tell me everything.”

And that she did. Starting with the many minor demons and enemies at the beginning, the pools of poison, the resurrection dragon and the skeletons. (“How did they do that?” “I have no idea! But they vanished after I downed them …” “That means we cannot have a look at them … alright.”) Then having to split the adventuring group into three to solve a minor puzzle (“You have no idea how many people didn’t listen when we explained the strategy!”), fighting an iron giant, trying to defuse an Allagan bomb before it went off and facing a King Behemoth. (“... wait. How did that thing survive all this time in the labyrinth? How did it create those meteors?” “I don’t know – you tell me. You are the scholar after all.”)

“... and then of course we faced Phlegethon. But I already told you about him.”

“Indeed, you did.” his furred ears were twitching in excitement. “This is great! Getting actual eyewitness accounts for these … security mechanisms is worth more than any gold in the world. At least for us scholars. Thank you, Shia!” And he beamed at her.

Her ears faltered though and her cheeks started to glow dark red. With big eyes she slowly nodded, “... you are welcome … I guess? Sorry,” she rubbed the back of her head, “I am not used to people being so excited when talking to me, I guess.”

“You should be,” he hopped down from the barrel. With one more glance, he checked his notes and blew on them to dry the ink. “I mean, if only half of what I heard about you is true, my friend, then you have had the most exciting life and people should want to hear about it.”

“Maybe,” she sighed and stretched, “but it’s not like I get asked all too often about myself. Usually, all people want to hear about is the result. So … thank you for asking me.”

The sun had finally completely set and darkness had fallen across the land. They must have talked for at least an hour or two. The chill of the night had set in and Shia rubbed her arms.

“I don’t envy you guys having to sleep outside,” she picked up her supplies and started to put them back into her bags. If she would get onto her chocobo now, she could maybe make it back to the Rising Stones in time for dinner with Arenvald.

“Yeah, sleeping in tents when it’s this cold is not what most people sign up for when they join the Students of Baldesion,” he pulled his arms up, “but why don’t you join us tonight? I’m sure neither Rammbroes nor Cid or the others would mind and Rammbroes stew is actually amazing.”

She just stood there for a moment, a bewildered look on her face.

“... but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to of course,” he added confused.

“...” Shia started to chew her lip. “I mean … I would love to stay …”

He smiled. “Then stay?”

“Ok - I’m staying. I’m staying!”

“You are a weird one, you know?”

“Stop teasing me, please,” and she was as red as a tomato.

* * *

_Nothing matters anyhow_

_It's like I'm floating off the ground_

_Into the hands of air I dive_

_Rays of light flashing by_

* * *

The camp of the Sons of Saint Coinach was still where it had been all these many moons ago. The researchers were busy gathering their supplies and ticking off boxes on a spreadsheets. After Tatarus call to action, it seemed like they were already on the move. Their leader, Rammbroes himself, was standing in front of his tent, giving orders to his men left and right, as Shia walked up to him.

“Rammbroes! It’s good to see you,” she held up her left hand in an informal greeting, her tail swaying left and right.

It took him a moment, before he actually recognised her. “... Shia! My it’s been a while! You look good! Have you grown out your hair – yes, get the excavation tools – no, no we don’t need heating blankets. We will not be staying down there – sorry,” he scratched his head, “everybody has been very excited since Tataru asked us for help. They are eager to find whatever there is to find.” He laughed nervously. “Tataru has informed us of the beacon you seek. We have yet to unearth any likely devices, but between the Scions and our scholars, it should only be a matter of time.”

A tiny smile grew on her face. “I’m sure you will find it in no time. But please – do let me know if you need my help.”

He looked at her for a moment, before bursting out in laughter. “Do not worry, Shia! We are adept enough with this and know our trade. Please take the time and relax. It will take us a while dig ourselves a path to the towers foot. That might take a while though.”

“Alright then. But please – do call me if you encounter … you know, any unpleasant “security mechanics”.” Shia winked.

“Oh, I will, trust me. But be honest with me lass,” his brows furrowed, “Tataru told us that you were on the frontlines. She said you were in the battle of the Gimlyth Dark?”

“...” Shia bit her lip, “... yes, I was. We won.”

“And Eorzea probably owes it in big parts to you, I’d wagger,” the big man placed his huge hands on her comparably tiny shoulders, “you have done so much for this world already. Please take the time and take care of yourself.”

“What would you have me do?”

“I do not know – what do young ladies such as yourself do to relax? A spa day perhaps? I heard you like working with flowers. Maybe you could start a garden?”

Shia laughed, “those are very good ideas. I shall take them into consideration.”

“There is another thing I wanted to ask you,” his right hand started stroking his chin, “Tataru let it slip that you and the Scions were called by a voice, weren’t you?”

 _Oh Tataru … we need to talk about your need to share information._ Shia sighed. “Yes, we were.”

“Perhaps … do you know who that voice belonged to?”

“I met ‘him’.”

“You did? Who is it?”

“I wish I knew,” she shook her head, arms crossed in front of her chest, “he wore strange robes with a hood and held a staff in his hand. If I am not mistaken, it looked rather Allagan.”

“Allagan you say...? Do you think it was...”?

“I don’t think it was him.” Shia turned her head and searched the foggy horizon for the familiar blue spires of the Crystal Tower. “If G’Raha was awake. If he had wanted to contact us, why be so secretive? Whoever that person is, I am sure that I have never met them.”

“How come?”

“You know,” and a smile spread across her face, accompanied by a wink, “they want me to help them. Have I ever turned someone asking for a hand down?”

“No, no you have not,” and the Roegadyn broke out in laughter. “But promise me that you will turn down someone once in a while, do you hear? You need to take care of yourself, too.”

“Which is exactly what I am going to do now,” she nodded, “please let me know, as soon as you have found something, ok?”

“I will. Now go on lass, get your well-deserved rest. And don’t even think about returning to the battlefield! We might come across something important any day!”

“Ha yeah … I mean,” she mumbled, already turning to leave, “you are not the first person to tell me so. I will be seeing you soon! Take care!”

Indeed, Rammbroes was not the first one to tell her to take it slow for a while. The first one had been Ser Aymeric.

 _Oblivious fool._ A shiver ran down her spine, as she walked through the cold winds of Mor Dhona. Had he told her this when she fled her bed after facing Niddhog, she would have gladly done so. For him. To ease his mind. In hopes of finding him by her bedside once in a while.

Shia shook her head.

 _Don’t start with this again,_ she scolded herself, _whatever you felt for him, he does not feel for you and you need to get yourself straight back on the path. There is no time to mourn idiots who never realised you cared._

The second person to ask her to grant herself some respite, had been Edmund de Fortemps. Her almost-but-not-official adoptive father. For him, she would gladly stay in bed. Maybe help out with the chocobos once in a while or make a trip to the Sea of Clouds. But mostly take it slow. Maybe read a new book. But she could never tell him no. She loved him dearly for all that he had done for her and for what he represented.

The third person had been Tataru, of course. After arriving at the Rising Stones, one of her first words had been ones of scolding and worry: “I swear, my heart nearly stopped when I heard you'd collapsed like the others. What in heavens' name is going on?” Followed by “And I forbid you from going to face him on your own. Do you hear me?”

 _And who am I to challenge the might of our dearest de facto leader,_ Shia smiled. The gates of Revenants Toll were already in sight. There was probably already a warm meal waiting for her in the Rising Stones, accompanied by the Argus-eyes of her friends. Just to make sure she did not skip the meal in favour of training. Or rushing back to the battlefield.

But there was nothing she wanted to do less than run back to the front. This had been her first true encounter with war and all it’s terrors and she didn’t wish to return there to get scarred even more. All she truly wanted, was to stay where she was, while trying to distract herself from whatever was laying ahead. Not knowing though wasn’t pleasant. If she knew, there would be a Zenos-level threat with probably a few mobs to slap against a wall, she could deal with it. Train for it. Prepare for it.

But knowing nothing would make her mad, if she did not find something to occupy herself with.

Maybe she could go for some light workout after dinner. Or a book.

A grin fell around Shias face. She would get her favourite book and read it to the other Scions in the infirmary.

_Let’s see how fast Thancred wakes up when I read 'Tusk Love' to him._

* * *

_Like the time is slowing down_   
_When the world is out of sight_   
_All the memories in my mind_   
_Won't leave me behind_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading so far!  
> I do think the preamble is done and we can get into the meat of it in the next chapter, which I am already finishing up. Since I am back now from my work event, I will be able to update much faster. :) 
> 
> Full disclaimer: The book "Tusk Love" is a reference to the D&D webshow Critical Role that I love very much. It's just plain and straight smut. <3 
> 
> I love you guys and thank you again!
> 
> ~ Your Usagi


	4. Memories - Chapter II in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _All of my memories keep you near. In silent moments, Imagine you'd be here. All of my memories keep you near. Your silent whispers, silent tears._  
>  Memories by Within Temptation
> 
> **When overthinking and overwork takes a toll on you, you may always rely on your friends.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, dear reader! This is the updated version of chapter 3 (AO3 count version). I decided to split the previous chapter 3 in two, to make it easier to comprehend. From now on, I will split longer chapters, if it makes sense. :) 
> 
> Please enjoy the read! <3

_In this world you tried_   
_Not leaving me alone behind_   
_There's no other way_   
_I prayed to the gods let him stay_   
_The memories ease the pain inside_   
_Now I know why_

* * *

He was sitting on the hard cold ground, his legs crossed, a huge book displayed there. He would occasionally turn a page with his left hand, while his other was slowly stroking his chin. The head was hanging low, as he studied the paper in front of himself. His luscious red hair was halfway hanging into his face, the ears propped up, while his bushy tail was slapping the ground in irritation.

Shia was not sure, if she should approach him. G’Raha Tia did not look like he was in the most talkative of moods.

It was a foggy day in Mor Dhona and cold like usually. The researchers had mostly vacated the camp and were mapping out all the details of the labyrinth of the ancients. It had only been a week since she had cleared it with the other adventurers, but the scholar's minds were trained on all the things they could potentially find in there. Rammbroes had advised them all not to blow all their steam just yet, but to keep some enthusiasm for the actual tower itself. It didn’t change their eagerness though. But the one most eager to map the labyrinth, had been the young Seeker of the Sun, who now sat in the middle of the almost empty camp.

“You know I can hear you,” G’Raha slowly turned his head, his strained expression lessening slightly, as he spots her. “Hello Shia, ‘tis good to see you.”

She raised her hand in a confused wave. “Hello there … uhm … G’Raha, please don’t mind me asking, but … why are you … here? And I don’t mean,” and a slight hue of red flushed across her face, “why you are here in general, but why you are in the camp and not with the other researchers? Aren’t you supposed to observe their work?”

“Yes, you are right,” he sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Sit with me, would you? I cannot concentrate with you standing over there.”

“Oh - yes – sorry.”

It only took her a few big steps to reach him and with an elegant move, she made herself comfortable on his left side.

“What are you reading?”

“’A history of Allag’ by Galuf Baldesion.”

“Your … teacher?”

“The founder of the Students of Baldesion,” G’Raha carefully caressed the page in front of him. The text seemed to have been written by hand, the colours making the illustrations almost pop.

“That is the Crystal Tower,” she leaned down a bit to get a better look.

“’Tis a funny thing. The name is actually ‘Syrcus Tower’, you see. The name ‘Crystal Tower’ is what the people of Eorzea have been calling it, since they lacked the knowledge of its true name.” A pleased smirk broadened across his face, his pouty lips curling but for a moment. “But Thal’s Balls! That’s just it – we lack knowledge. And we have no idea how to open those bloody gates-” G'Raha stopped right in the middle of his sentence, a curious look on his face. “And why are you laughing?”

Shia had started to giggle. Her hole body shook, seemingly trying to keep in a much bigger outburst of laughter.

“I’m sorry,” she pressed out between two sharp breaths and tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “I haven’t heard you curse before and that you would use that one-” She never finished her sentence, because that laughter she had been trying to keep in, suddenly found its way to the surface.

The scholar next to her just watched the Warrior of Light almost rolling around on the ground.

“... alright then … what would you have me say, if not that one?” His confused expression slowly changed to a tiny smile.

It took the blonde a few moments to calm down again, before she took a finger to her lips an thought for a moment.

“I mean … ‘Seven Hells’ is the Leveilleurs favourite one and there is ‘swiving bastard’. But my favourite will always be...” she trailed off, another laughing fit seemingly approaching.

“Don’t keep me in suspense. That wouldn’t be fair at all,” he quipped back.

“’By the Matron's Teats’.”

“The- What?”

And it was G’Raha, who was laughing now. He bent back, falling onto his back, the book closing and sliding to the ground.

Shias ears tingled. He had a beautiful laugh. It was loud and warm. Kind and endearing.

“That one is amazing,” he took a few shallow breaths to calm himself down, “the matron’s teats … That’s amazing …" He giggled some more, before looking over to her, his eyes glimmering with joy. “Where did you learn those?”

“I could ask you the same,” she pulled her legs close and leaned on them, “who uses the term ‘Thal’s Balls’ around here?”

“Nobody here actually,” he explained. G’Raha closed his eyes, stretching a bit on the cold ground. “A good friend of mine from Baldesion, Krile, if you have heard of her.”

Shia thought for a moment. “No, I have not heard that name before. Is she your girlfriend?”

“My what? Oh no,” he shot her a quick glance. She was looking back, curiously. “She is a fellow student, very wise. And she loves pocking fun at people. She doesn’t often curse, but when she does … I tell you, she is responsible for half of our students sounding like pirates.”

“She sounds like quite the character! I’d very much like to meet her.” Shia chuckled at the image of a faceless woman scolding her red-haired companion into oblivion and cursing worse than the privateers in the Drowning Wench.

“Maybe you could come with me to the Isle of Val when we have opened the tower. I’m sure there are a bunch of people who would be delighted to meet you, too.”

“That sounds lovely, though … I don’t think I can just leave Eorzea behind to go travel. Not that I don’t want to, but I think the Scions would miss me. And who would whoop those Primals butts, if I am not here?”

“Is there nobody else who can do it?”

“Not really …"

G’Raha propped himself up on his elbows, “if there is nobody, who could take over for a few days at least, pray tell me how they did it before they found you?”

“Before they found me..?”

“You know,” he looked at her, “before there was a Warrior of Light in this era.”

She thought for a moment. “I think they would just send in big groups of soldiers from the Grand Companies and live with the loss of life. I mean … I can face them thanks to the Echo. But those who don’t have it are always in danger of getting tempered and … we have to put the tempered ones down. One after another.”

“So if you do not have a one woman army-”

“-many many people die, yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Well,” and he finally sat back up, his gaze lingering on the Crystal Tower in the distance, “it does sound like sending you in is the most efficient and life preserving way of dealing with these things. But it also takes away your freedom of choice. And shouldn’t we all be allowed to choose what to do with our lifes?”

Shia looked at him, studied his face. The laughter and the smile were gone. A thoughtful expression had replaced them.

“It’s not that bad,” she whispered, “and it’s not like I do not wish to fight the Primals. They are just a part of the job, that is all. If fighting them means I can ensure my friends safety, why shouldn't I battle them?”

“...” he did not answer her question. Instead, he sighed heavily. “Quite the burden you have there.”

“Maybe.” A shrug. “We all have our own baggage to carry around. Some more, some less. Now,” she send him her biggest smile, “why were you in such a gloomy mood?”

“...” G’Raha tapped the book, searching for the page he had just opened, “I know a lot about Allag and the Crystal Tower. But I don’t know everything and we are still missing a lot of knowledge and I cannot seem to find anything helpfull.”

She curled her eyebrows, her tail and ears straightening up in confusion. “There are things you don’t know about the tower? Like..?”

“Like how to open the door.”

“Oh. Well. That would be good to know though.”

“Right? But I cannot seem to find a solution. Apparently, someone from the Allagan royal family should be capable of opening the doors. But those people are all dead and gone. It would be a miracle to find one and an even bigger one to find one right now and here.”

G’Raha sighed and let his shoulders hang a bit.

Shias ears were pointing to the ground too, a sad pout on her lips. He had been keen on opening the tower and now his chances of doing that were rather low. Of course he would feel sad about it. Though, probably more disappointed. Over the last few weeks, Shia had gotten the impression, that the Crystal Tower and Allag were not only G’Rahas field of research, because he had been told to research it, but also because it was his field of passion. He would soak in every tiny detail she could tell him about the labyrinth and any other Allagan facility or artefact she had encountered previously. And in turn, he would tell her everything he knew about their technology, for example how to defuse traps or find mechanisms to open jarred doors (which were not the ones of the Crystal Tower) without destroying them. He had poured his heart and soul into the research of Allag and now he was barred from entering the one place he longed to see so much. After having come so far already.

The Warrior of Light pursed her lips. Was there really nothing she could do?

“Hey, how about this,” she carefully bumped her shoulder into his and stayed close for a second. He turned his head to look at her and she greeted him with an encouraging smile. “You send a letter home to your colleagues at the Isle of Val. Maybe they have an idea – you know, swarm intelligence and with so many scholars at one place, I am sure they can work out a solution. In the meantime, you and I are going to investigate the gates of the tower. We will check every inch of it for clues on how to open it. And if we have to, we will climb that tower. And who knows,” her smile brightened, “maybe we will find the solution before your colleagues can even touch their books.”

She got to her feet and held out her hand. “So, what do you say?”

Another huge sigh escaped G’Raha Tias lips. “But I have already checked the doors multiple times. And I have sent for my peers and-”

“Good,” Shia nodded, “that means that you know where you haven’t looked yet and that the Students of Baldesion will send word sooner than anticipated. Come on now, G’Raha. Don’t leave me hanging!”

“Shia … I …" a defeated expression flashed over his features and got replaced by a smile, “alright. Let’s do this.” He closed his book and grabbed her hand to be pulled onto his feet. He noticed that he was only slightly taller than her.

The Warrior of Light pulled him close for a second, holding onto his hand and placing her forehead to his. Just for the tiniest of moments. “Don’t worry about it too much, yes? It will all be fine. I promise you.” G’Raha took a sharp breath. The smell of the black elderflower, leather polish and linen flooded his senses, before she took a step back and motioned for him to follow her.

“Come on,” Shia grinned, “we have no time to waste!”

* * *

_All of my memories keep you near_   
_In silent moments_   
_Imagine you'd be here_   
_All of my memories keep you near_   
_Your silent whispers, silent tears_

* * *

The campfire was rustling. A cold wind was stoking its flames and embers would rise up like fireflies. But aside from the flames, the night was cold. Low hanging clouds covered the sky, no starlight to be seen for miles. Even the supposed full moon could not shine through.

It could have been a normal night in Mor Dhona, if it hadn’t been drizzling for a few hours.

Shia was buckling up after a long day of searching for a way into the Crystal Tower. She had attacked the gates, climbed the crystal and tried to charge through supposed weak spots in the structure.

All to no avail.

She herself wasn’t too frustrated at that. It had been an otherwise slow day and for once, she hadn’t gotten herself dirty with blood. Only sweat. And sweat was something she could simply wash out of her clothes.

Her companion on the other hand hadn’t taken too well to their misfortune. G’Raha had spent the whole day ordering her around, telling her to do specific things, only to get impatient, if it didn’t work. He had still been sitting at the campfire, when Shia had gone over to talk to Rammbroes about their next steps. She couldn’t spend all her time with them after all. There was too much else to do and Minfillia had already been calling for her to return to the Rising Stones twice.

Thankfully, Rammbroes understood and he agreed to call her as soon as they had made any significant discoveries or found a way into the tower. Revenants Toll, her home base of sorts, wasn’t too far away after all and they would just leave a message with Tataru.

Following their talk, Shia had wandered the camp to say goodbye to her friends. Bigs and Wedge were playing cards in their tent. Meanwhile, Cid was working on a new machine. G’Raha on the other hand, was still sitting at the campfire, hunched over the book in his hands.

She carefully approached him and softly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey there, I am about to leave and just wanted to-”

But she stopped herself midsentence, when he almost fell over and into the fire. Thankfully, her reflexes were as sharp as ever and she caught him, before he reached the flames. Only then did he jerk awake, having seemingly fallen asleep while reading.

“Huh?! By the twelve – Shia? Don’t scare me like that.” A yawn escaped him.

“You fell asleep in the rain,” Shia scolded. She hunkered down next to him. “Maybe you should go to bed. It’s late.”

G’Raha shook his head. “Thank you very much for your concern. But I assure you, my mind is as sharp as ever.”

“But your body needs to rest.”

“My body is perfectly fine.” He pouted and turned his head away, as if she had deeply insulted him.

The Warrior of Light twisted her eyes. “Never mind then. I’ll be seeing you as soon as you get into the tower. So... take ca-”

But she couldn’t even finish her sentence before she had to grab his shoulders again, as he was once more about to fall face first into the fire.

“Ok, that’s it. I’m tugging you in.”

He grunted. “I said I-”

But before he could finish the thought, Shia had grabbed his book, closed it and held it firmly between her knees. Next thing G’Raha knew was that two strong arms picked him up and threw him over a shoulder.

“And I said you need to go to bed! Even great minds like you archons need to rest,” she adjusted him a bit, grabbed the book from between her knees and stomped towards one of the researchers.

“Pardon me, but could you please tell me where the Observer usually makes camp for the night?”

G’Rahas tail smacked into her face.

A strong smell of wet leather, parchment, ink and earth rose into her nose together with a bunch of thick red hair. Which she wasn’t too of and in turn, she let her tail swoosh across his face. He actually sneezed.

The researcher gave her a confused look. “His tent is the second one down there to the right,” they clutched their tools to their chest, as if they were afraid Shia would take them, too.

“Much obliged.”

The red haired tail was still swiping over her face, partially obscuring the way and she almost tripped over the uneven ground.

“Would you please stop?!” Her voice sounded mildly annoyed.

“Let me down!”

“I won’t!”

“Then deal with it.”

“Thal’s Balls! Stop being so stubborn."

Shia found the tent and kicked the door flap aside. It was dark in there, but she could just barely make out the outlines of a cot in the back and a small table to her right. First, she placed the book on the dry surface, before gently lowering her companion onto the cot.

G’Raha sighed and shot her a quick, annoyed glance as soon as he was laying down.

“Will I have to stay and make sure you sleep or are you going to sleep on your own,” she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

He closed his eyes, pondering for a bit. When he opened them again, he sported a defeated look.

“Alright, alright. You got me. I’ll go to sleep.” He yawned and clumsily fumbled at his boots.

She watched him for a moment, rolled her eyes and grabbed his shoe.

“Hey!” G’Raha was about to get up, but she just pushed him back down.

“I said I was going to tug you in. That’s what I’m doing.” And his second shoe was gone, both of them now neatly arranged next to the cot.

“...”

“You need to take it a bit slower,” she walked over to the table and grabbed an old oil lamp. With a quick snap of her finger and a swift aether flow, she lit it up.

When she returned to his side, the light gave her a better look at his features.

They smiled at each other.

“I’m just …” he held his breath for a moment, searching her face.

“You are just ..?”

G’Raha sighed and turned his gaze towards the roof of the tent. “I am supposed to be the authority on the Crystal Tower. It annoys me that I am struggling with opening it up.” He bit his lips and took a deep breath.

The light cast strange shadows across his face.

 _He looks like an ancient wise man;_ Shia thought and resisted the urge to place her hand on his face in an attempt to comfort him. Instead, she clutched it between her thighs, to keep it warm.

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled finally and turned his face towards her and the light again, “I shouldn’t unburden myself on you. Especially you. I am sure, you already have enough to worry about.”

She shook her head. “You are my friend. I don’t mind if you tell me these things. That’s what friends are for, right?”

His mouth opened in awe. “Wow … I never thought I would be friends with the Warrior of Light.”

“How about we start with you stopping to call me that. Shia. Just Shia.”

“Shia,” the name rolled of his tongue. His right arm rose a bit and fingers strove through her short blonde hair. “Why do you wear it like this?”

“Huh?” Her ears perked up. “Why I cut my hair? Well … it is just much more practical. I don’t get it tangled in my armour, my enemies can’t grab it and I don’t have to put too much time into maintaining it.”

He hummed. “I see … I think you should grow it out …" he played with it a little more. But Shia could see him struggle to keep his eyes open.

“I will think about it.” She smiled and took his hands into hers, to place it gently atop his body. “Shall I wait until you are asleep?”

“Hmmm” he yawned again.

She placed the lamp on the ground and got up. Her eyes searched the tent and she spotted a blanked on a small chest next to the table. He snuggled right into it, as she threw over him.

“Good night, G’Raha.” Her hand hovered over his shoulder for a second, as if contemplating what to do, before she lightly touched his skin, carefully moving her thumb over his tattoo.

“Tomorrow will be a new day. I’m sure, you will find your answer soon.”

He didn’t answer. His breath was slow, rhythmic.

Shia got up and put out the light of the lamp.

_He will be just fine._

* * *

_Together in all these memories_  
 _I see your smile_  
 _All the memories I hold dear_  
 _Darling, you know I'll love you_  
 _'Til the end of time_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far!!! I really liked writing this chapter and I hope you had just as much fun. :)  
> If you have feedback for me, please leave a comment and I hope, that you might stick around for the next chapter. It's halfway done already. 
> 
> Thank you again!!
> 
> <3  
> Usagi


	5. Iron - Chapter III in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Left in darkness. Here on the your own. Woke up a memory, Feeling the pain._  
>  Iron by Within Temptation
> 
> **When you visit a new world, does it chance you? How do you control your anger? And how do you break a bad habit?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, dear reader! This is the second part of the updated version of chapter 3 (AO3 count version). I decided to split the previous chapter 3 in two, to make it easier to comprehend. From now on, I will split longer chapters, if it makes sense. :)
> 
> Please enjoy the read! <3

_Left in darkness_  
_Here on the your own_  
_Woke up a memory_  
_Feeling the pain_

* * *

Bright. Everything was bright.

Even when she closed her eyes, she could still see the almost white light through her lids. It was truly uncomfortable. But it wasn’t anything like the warm engulfing rays of the sun of Eorzea. It was a cold light, unnatural. And it must have been shining for quite a while, since almost all the plants in the surrounding areas had lost their colour and gave the region an eerie violet tone. Or perhaps that had been their natural state even before? There was no way to know.

In the distance to her right, she could make out a lake, hidden behind the trees of the rather open forest. It seemed wide and her curiosity wanted nothing more for her, than to take a stroll and make her way towards it. But she had no time to waste at the moment, there were more pressing issues.

For one, she had no inkling to where she was. Her whole surroundings seemed strangely familiar, but not familiar enough for her to realize where she was.

A sudden cold wind blew her hair into her face and Shia pulled the black scarf closer around her neck. Tataru had given her the new outfit as a present and Shia was impressed by how much progress the receptionist had made as a weaver: She had worked the leather expertly, the pants and jacked fit perfectly and the boots felt like they had been moulded onto her feet. The scarf was warm against her neck and fell down in a cape like fashion on the back, while her long blonde hair draped nicely above it.

In the time between her talk with Rammbroes and Tataru calling her just a few hours ago, Shia had done as asked and taken time off, which included a visit to the aesthetician. There, she had gotten her locks trimmed and finally rid off her red strands in favour of black to accompany her new outfit. And since Jandelaine had liked it so much, he had gifted her with a new matching coal kajal for her eyes and war paint as also a matted black lipstick. The whole get-up made her look rather intimidating, she thought.

Though, the part she was most proud of was the lance she had fashioned for herself when waiting for news from the Crystal Tower: It was a bit taller than her, the long handle carved to look like scales, the tip of it consisted of multiple golden hooks and two horn like barbs, before ending in a golden blade. She had used some materials from her battle with the primal Shinryu and the result made her proud. It was her handiwork after all.

She had been walking through the forest for at least half an hour, when finally a few rocks came in sight. Behind them, she spotted the familiar blue shimmering structure: The Crystal Tower.

It stood tall, just like it did on the source, its jagged spires piercing the heavens. Her eyes narrowed at the sight.

“... let’s get this started.” The Miqo’te bit her lip. Her tail was almost curled around one of her legs. She was agitated. Something was going to happen soon and not knowing, what it would be, send unwelcome shivers down her spine.

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to follow the calling of some strange hooded person into an even stranger, unknown land.

Perhaps it was not.

She would not know until she reached the tower.

* * *

_Raised in this madness, you're on your own_  
_It made you fearless, nothing to lose_  
_Dreams are a drug here, they get in your way_  
_That's what you need to fight day by day_

* * *

The path below her boots was crunchy. The gravel was mixed with dirt and slowly faded into the violet moss at the sides. It must have rained rather recently, the ground was still wet and she spotted water droplets on leaves. The air was clear, moisture still all around her.

If she hadn’t been on a mission, Shia would have stopped and examined it all thoroughly. It was kind of pretty after all. A bit much, but pretty nonetheless.

Forest slowly gave way to more open areas. A crossroad gave her the opportunity to throw one more glance towards the lake, before she would keep on walking straight ahead in between rust coloured stones. Up ahead, she spotted a wooden palisade with platforms and a small tower. The gate was wide open.

How about a careful approach, it shot through her head and Shia tried to make herself look as normal and unthreatening as possible. She tried tugging some hair behind her fluttering ears and to not walk like someone who was about to rush off to a battlefield. But how again did you walk like a normal person? Only now did she realise, that over the course of the last few months, she had appropriated the walk of a military commander. Being around people commanding attention like the knights of Ishgard, Raubahn and of course their Garlean enemies had influenced her more than she had realised before. She had gotten used to heavy metal greaves and the consequential heavy footfall, the purpose in her step, always having her shoulders pulled back, her chest out and belly muscles tightened. Having her weapon at her back had become a reassuring feeling and without it she would sometimes feel half naked.

_That’s what war does to you,_ Shia sighed. _Maybe I should slouch..?_

But before she could adjust anything, a harsh voice rang in her ears.

“Halt.” And a tall woman clad in some kind of armour barred the way. Her skin was akin to a dark caramel tone and thick grey locks framed her face. She fixated Shia with the gaze of her violet and slightly silver eyes. The most peculiar for Shia though, were the straight bunny like ears growing on the ladys head.

The combination was mesmerising.

The woman came closer and crossed her arms just a few feet away.

“Every face in this city I know. Yours I know not. This is the threshold of the Crystarium and I am its gatekeeper. If you would enter, you will answer my questions.” She loosened up a bit and raised an arm. “From where do you hail?”

_What a strange accent … but great. The one question that I should probably not answer to anyone in this whole gods forsaken world. Deep breaths, Shia, deep breaths. It will be all right. If she doesn’t like the answer, you can just leave and climb your way over the mountain. Then again. It is probably not a good idea to start your adventures in this world as a criminal by bypassing the guards. She is just doing her job. Be nice to her!_

Shia took that deep breath and swallowed a lump in her throat.

“I am from a city called Gridania, if you have heard of it?”

She huffed. “Do you take me for a fool? No such place exists.” Her eyes narrowed on the slightly frustrated Miqo’te. “Had you given me an honest answer, I would not have barred your way – we care little here for a person’s place of origin. But instead you chose concealment, and I will not suffer you to pass...” There was pity in her voice. And disappointment.

“Listen, lady-” But before Shia could retort something snarky, the guard had drawn her weapon and dashed forward. Shias muscles tensed up and she reached for her lance, an attack apparently imminent. But the woman wasn’t aiming for her, but something behind. She sprinted forward, past Shia and threw two silver discs at something.

The Warrior of Light was straddled for a second, before turning herself. But the foe already sank to the ground, emitting no more signs of life. It was something big with wings all in white. However, before she could get a better look at it, the thing lit up and vanished. Only a big turquoise ring was left behind.

“That one had eaten,” the guards’ woman stated, “must have gulped down the whole hand, ring and all...”

Shia narrowed her eyes, her hand falling slack at her side. _A pity. He seemed to be a good man. But what in the Twelves’ bloody name was that?_

She was about to speak up, when hurried steps drew her attention back to the gate.

“Everything alright captain?” A person had come rushing down the path. They wore a black, red and white robe. A cowl with golden details hid most of their face and they sported an elaborate staff on their back. However, their garb did not hide their crystalline hand or the blue crystal like skin on their neck.

Shias tail had already been swinging left and right in attention, but now the ears folded back, too. _Just the person I was looking for._

“Quite alright, my Lord,” the apparent captain of the guard answered, “just a stray Sineater. And a weak one at that.”

“I see. Weak or not, we should be on the lookout for more.” The hooded man nodded and finally turned his head towards the slightly irritated Warrior of Light. He smiled. “But I see you have met my guest. I will escort her to the Crystarium myself … If you have no objections?”

“Another of your mysterious friends, is it? I should have known.” She sighed. “Very well. I shall inform the others. Your guest is to be given the run of the city.” She turned from facing her superior back to Shia. Their eyes met for the slightest moment. “Pray forgive my less than cordial welcome. May the rest of your stay with us be a pleasant one.”

_I doubt that it’s going to be pleasant. But hey!_

“You are doing good work. Thank you,” she replied. The snarky comment was on the tip of her tongue, but she bit her lip and smiled instead.

_You don’t want to get thrown out right away again, do you._

The hooded figure on the other hand closed the distance between them. He was only a few ilms taller than her, Shia noted.

_Parchment and ink..?_

“Come with me. I will answer whatever questions you have when we are somewhere more private.”

Her eyebrows clenched together, but she gave him an understanding nod nonetheless and followed him.

* * *

_You need not to fear us_  
_unless you're a dark heart_  
_a vile one, who preys on the innocent_  
_I promise, you can't hide forever in the empty darkness_  
_for we'll hunt you down_  
_like the animals you are_  
_and pull you in the very bowels of hell_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far!!! I really liked writing this chapter and I hope you had just as much fun. :)
> 
> Thank you again!!
> 
> <3 Usagi


	6. Élan Part I - Chapter IV in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Come, taste the wine, Raise the blind, They will guide you from the light, Writing noughts till the end of time_  
>  Élan by Nightwish
> 
> **An unexpected visitor arrives at the Rising Stones and meets an overly tired Shia.**

The meeting had concluded, and dinner was ready.

Shia left Minfillias bureau together with the other Scions, their leader staying behind to sort out some paperwork. She would probably eat later, when she was done. Or when F’Lhaminn would bring her something. Like always. Shia couldn’t actually remember, if she had ever spent time with her away from their duties.

For the moment though, she didn’t really think much of it. The Warrior of Light had been on her feet for almost three days in a row now. The sylphs of the Twelve’s Wood had summoned a Primal and ever since Gridania had gotten wind of it, Shia had been up and about. It was finally time for some well-deserved food and rest.

Not everyone was staying though: Y’Shtola and Urianger had said their goodbyes almost immediately after the meeting. Their projects didn’t afford them even the tiniest delay. Not, that Shia knew what they were working on though.

The ones staying for the night were Papalymo and Yda, the two people she had the closest connection within the inner circle of the scions. Together they would laugh all the while enjoying their dinner, toasting to another defeated Primal. Yda couldn’t hold her liquor, but she wouldn’t miss it out for anything in the world, even when her stern-faced companion asked her to take it slow.

She was still toasting with Hoary Boulder when Shia decided to finally make for bed.

“Goodnight, my friend,” Papalymo nodded and took a sip of his tea. He preferred not to lose his senses.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry that I am leaving you with her,” the Warrior if Light frowned towards their mutual friend, who had just spilled half of her third cup of ale across her shirt.

“This is going to be a long night.” The Archon sighed. With a wink he motioned for Shia to get going. “I’ll be fine. Do not worry. Now. Off you go. Off to bed with you.”

But Shia hadn’t reached the door to the quarters, when suddenly the entrance to the Rising Stones was slammed open and someone came jumping in.

“Shia! Is Shia here?!”

The tumult around Yda and Hoary Boulder went silent almost immediately. Everyone in the hall turned their head and had a look at the intruder on their doorstep.

It was a young man with almost cherry coloured hair, furred ears, a matching tail and the biggest grin across the face one could imagine.

Shia had been on the edge all day and as soon as the door slammed open, she had her lance at the ready, but the person in front of them didn’t mean any harm.

“G’Raha Tia?” Her voice was unsure. Maybe she was seeing things. Last time she had met him, she had tucked him into bed after he had almost collapsed right into the campfire.

“There you are,” he jumped across the stairs and came running for her, ignoring the Scions unhappy grumbling. Outsiders were usually not permitted to just rush into their headquarters after all. But the student of Baldesion couldn’t have cared less. He reached her and waved a letter in front of her stunned face.

“They are sending someone! We will finally be able to open the doors in maybe about a week or two! Isn’t that great news?”

Shia took a step back – he had come awfully close to her face – and took the sight in: his face was flushed, he was panting ( _had he run here all the way from the camp?_ ), the bushy tail was quickly swaying from left to side to side and his pouty lips were curled in the biggest smile she had yet seen on his face.

“That’s amazing, congratulations G’Raha,” she nodded and clapped her hands slightly together.

“Right?! They were deeply impressed by our progress and are sending us even more specialists.”

“Perfect, I will be there for the spring cleaning – if one is necessary.”

His ears twitched. “Spring cleaning? Of what?”

“The Crystal Tower of course,” a big yawn escaped her lips and she tried to hide it behind a hand, “I’m sorry… the allegory probably doesn’t fit very well but… I’m just so tired…”

“You are? That’s a pity… but you must have had a few rough days. I heard the Sylphs were causing problems.”

“Not exactly… but why is that a pity?”

The whole of the Rising Stones was now listening to their conversation intently. Ydas face was jerking left and right in between them.

“Well, you see,” G’Raha scratched rubbed the back of his head, a slightly red hue ghosting across his cheeks, “it means I have two weeks to slack off, more or less. And there is currently a festival going on in the city states and I wanted to ask… you…” he trailed off. His head slowly turned, taking in his surroundings. Everybody was watching. Everybody. Even Minfillia was standing in the room. She probably wanted to check what the ruckus was about.

“… if I wanted to join you?” Shia finished for him, a curious glint in her tired eyes.

“Kind off…”

She stretched for a moment. “Let me be honest with you: I would love to go to that festival with you. But I am so,” and a yawn escaped her lips, “I am so tired … so... how about I go to sleep now and we go to Gridania together on the morrow?”

His ears perked up in excitement. “That would be perfect! I will be waiting for you at the gates towards the black shroud at noon then.”

G’Raha saluted and gave an awkward grin to the rest of the Scions, before rushing back through the door towards the Seventh Heaven.

Papalymo raised an eyebrow. “Are my eyes deceiving me? Or did our Warrior of Light just get invited to a date?”

“I did not think you for a person of gossip,” She retorted and stretched once more. “I’ll be off to bed now. Apparently, I need to be in top shape tomorrow.”

“Do some sit ups for that six pack! I bet that’s what he likes most about you,” she could hear Yda giggle, before the door to the dorm rooms fell shut.

 _A date? I haven’t been on a date… ever,_ it shot through her head and finally, Shia felt her cheeks warm up. And she was still thinking about Ydas words, when she was already in bed, only waiting for sleep to take her.

_A date. A real date. With G’Raha Tia. A researcher. Oh dear._

And she silently giggled into her pillow.

* * *

_Leave the sleep and let the springtime talk_   
_In tongues from the time before man_   
_Listen to a daffodil tell her tale_   
_Let the guest in, walk out, be the first to greet the morn_

* * *

Sleep never came easy to the Warrior of Light. Whenever she was outside, camping on a mission, she would be half awake, always one ear listening for potential dangers. She did get rest, just not the kind of rest that she craved, especially after a long hard day of fighting, scouting and planning.

It was entirely different in the inns. There, she could relax, yes. And potentially sleep safe and sound in the knowledge that she was in a secure place. But the walls were thin, and she could always hear the other customers cheer and party on. No rest for her there either.

But she could sleep in the Rising Stones. Minfillia had offered her a room all for herself. There was another bed, yes and if more people were to join, she would have to share, but for now? The thick stone walls and the heavy oaken door held off any sound from outside. The small window was easily closed with a few curtains and the bed was warm. It was the safest place Shia knew, with maybe the exception of the Sultanas palace in Uld’ah. Nothing could get through their tight knit security.

Tugged away deep into her warm blanket, Shia should have had the best sleep possible. Deep, dreamless and relaxing. Instead, she would toss and turn, her nose filled with the smell of parchment and ink, Allagan doors and a familiar laughter.

When she awoke in the early hours of the morning, she felt as if somebody had shoved her into a wall.

Shia tip-toed into the big entrance hall of the Rising Stones. Even though it was only dawning outside, F’Lhammin was already behind the counter, handing some sandwiches over to a few men in blue uniforms.

_Crystal Braves._

They greeted her before departing and the Warrior of Light sat down at the counter.

“‘Morning,” she murmured, rubbing her eyes.

“Good Morning dear. You do not look like you are rested yet. Are you sure you want to be up yet?”

“…”

“Oh love... here,” and a steaming mug appeared right before Shias tired eyes, “the coffee is fresh. A new Lominsan roast with cinnamon. You will like it.”

It took the sleepy Warrior of Light a few moments move her hand to grab the cup. She hummed when she took her first sip.

“It’s delicious.”

“Thank you dear.”

F’Lhammin went back to preparing breakfast for the slowly waking inhabitants of the Rising Stones. The room filled with more Crystal Braves, who were happily chatting about their upcoming day. A few Scions joined them. Arenvald noticed her, but when he saw her still half-asleep face he laughed and rubbed her shoulders.

“Good morning, Kitty,” he grinned as his hands worked her muscles expertly.

“...” Shia wasn’t even awake enough to respond to him. Instead, she just enjoyed his company and the work of his fingers.

_This is going to be a long day ..._

* * *

_The meadows of heaven await harvest_   
_The cliffs unjumped, cold waters untouched_   
_The elsewhere creatures yet unseen_   
_Finally your number came up, freefall awaits the brave_

* * *

The sun was high in the sky when Shia finally arrived at the gates of Revenants Toll. Thankfully, she had been able to sleep a few more hours after the coffee and Arenvald’s masterful work on her shoulders. She didn’t feel quite awake yet, but not as dead tired as before. Thanks to her fellow Scions, she even managed to look decent for once: No heavy armour, no weapon, no gambeson, no helmet.

Shia had taken a that long overdue bath (no time for baths when battling primals) and her friends had practically begged her not to wear her more battle-ready clothes. Instead, Yda had borrowed her a simple dress, pretty shoes and a few accessories. Nothing special, but something cute.

And to top it off, F’Lhammin had given her a flower pin to put in her short hair. It had taken them a while to fix it in place though, which is why Shia arrived at the gates already sweaty again and breathing heavily. She bowed down a bit and tried to catch her breath.

“I … am sorry … I’m … late.”

But G’Raha only laughed. “Never mind, you are right on time.” She looked up and he met her apologetic gaze with a huge smirk. He held out a hand, “come now, there is a carriage leaving in a few minutes. If we take it, we will be in Gridania in about two hours.”

She hesitated for a second, ears shyly tilted to the side. Should she take his hand?

 _Come on now! Get a grip girl,_ the voice of Yda rang through her head, _take his hand and stop being so gods damned stuck up!_

When their palms met, a tiny bit of static charge rushed through them and she was about to quickly pull her hand away again, ready to apologize. But G’Rahas fingers held her hand tight and he was already pulling her with him towards the carriage.

“Come on,” he smiled back at her, tangling his fingers with hers. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed – quite in the contrary to her, whose face was probably at least slightly pink, he didn’t seem to mind. He pulled her with him, tail swaying happily from left to right and ears propped up in excitement. Just watching him radiate an aura of content and simple happiness seemed to wash away any nervousness Shia had and when she sat down beside him on their ride, she smiled just as bright as he did.

* * *

_The answer to the riddle before your eyes_  
 _Is in dead leaves and fleeting skies_  
 _Returning swans and sedulous mice_  
 _Writing's on the gardens book, in the minute of a lover's look_

* * *

While the whole of Mor Dhona usually didn’t see much of a change between the seasons ever since the calamity, Gridania was a whole different story. The city wasn’t located too far away, but since the destruction had not hit either it nor the Twelves Wood as severely as Silvertear Lake and its surrounding areas, neither the weather nor the seasons had changed and nature was steadily reclaiming whatever destruction had been done to it. The Order of the Twin Adders and the botanist’s guild located in the city were also doing everything in their power to preserve and restore the forests flora and fauna. Their enduring efforts could be felt everywhere beneath the dark treetops and even within the city, where they had been hard at work, replanting and rescuing the knobby trees as old as time itself.

But for the first time in five years, Gridania was in for a special treat: Ever since the last frosts and fog-shrouded mornings of winter, the city had been graced with and unending number of blossoms. It had started in the lower parts of the forest with white pixie plum blossoms slowly overtaking the city, making it almost look as if it was still snowed in. Only a week after they had come out of hiding, the mirror apple trees joined them, giving everything a slightly pink hue. But when Shia and G’Raha arrived in the city, it had been conquered by a myriad of colours at every corner: Tulips in yellow, white and rosé grew in between huge bushes of sweet-scented hyacinths. Daffodils lined the paths throughout the city and violet pansies grew at the feet of trees. A seemingly unending ocean of almost white primroses covered the usually wide tracks of green in between houses. The trees were already slowly withering, shedding their beautiful blossoms with each gust of wind through its leaves, raining down onto dutiful guards and playing children alike. There was nothing more serene to look at, than a bedazzled archer stopping while on patrol to gaze into the rain of pedals, while a bunch of children were playing fetch around the aetheryte plaza. The inhabitants in general were, if they were not at work, enjoying the season to the fullest. They had placed hundreds of small blankets on the sides of the paths, where they would sit, chat, drink and eat in the midst of the natural wonder all around them.

As soon as they arrived at the Yellow Serpent Gate between the North Shroud and Old Gridania, G’Raha threw the carter some Gil and once more held out his hand to his companion. Shia ears fluttered back; her eyes wide as she carefully took it.

“’Tis alright,” he winked. His smirk spread across his face, “I assure you; I mean no harm.”

“That’s not it,” she retorted, lacing her fingers into his, nonetheless. “This is just... I’m not used to... this.”

His head tilted to the side; a questioning look in his eyes. “Is this your first day off in a while?”

“It’s the first time ever someone has asked me to join them...” and she tried desperately not to use the word date, “... on a trip.”

A dark shade of red spread below the seekers face marks. “I see – I'm truly sorry if I am too forward, I mean-” and he quickly pulled his hand back, but Shia held on and took a few steps to stand next to him.

“You are not too forward at all,” a timid smile grew on her lips, “where do you want to go first?”

“I-I thought we could...” he rubbed the back of his head with his free hand, “I am told this season they are handing out sweet rice cakes. I have always wanted to try them so...”

Shia nudged his arm. “Lead the way then.”

G’Raha was timid at first. His usual confident self-had vanished behind a shy grin and initial insecurity. But after a few steps he gave Shias hand a squeeze, his steps grew surer and the red slowly faded from his cheeks. Not completely though. He led her away from their initial entrance point and together they turned left towards the Whistling Miller, only to cross a bridge. In front of Mih Khetto's Amphitheatre, a lot of people had assembled. Some were sitting down on blankets; some were dancing in the middle of the street. From the stage of the theatre, they could hear the sounds of lutes, harps, flutes and a drum. The beat of the later was what the people on the street were dancing to.

“We could always go the long way around to the Apkallu Falls,” Shia suggested, a frown on her face. She didn’t like crowds.

“But where is the fun in that,” a mischievous grin cracked open on the archons face. “I’ll get us through in no time.”

Before Shia could utter a word of protest, G’Raha hooked one arm at her waist, pulled her in and had taken her other hand into his free one, raising them towards the crowd.

“Shall we?”

“What are you-”

G’Raha pulled her in. Without issue, he manoeuvred them into the crowd of dancing people, falling right in with the rhythm of the drum.

The dancing couples were laughing while they twirled and even though it took the Warrior of Light a few seconds, she eventually let him lead her. They passed a group of children jumping in a circle, cheering to the song. A few couples turning in circles, one arm each hooked into the others. The music sped up a notch and G’Raha twisted them around, her dress flaring out.

Shia cheered as her short hair drifted in the wind. Her eyes were sparkling with delight and she in turn had hooked her arm around his waist, while gripping his other hand tight. When he tried to pull out of the crowd, it was her, who resisted and held him where he was.

She gave him the biggest smile she could muster and nodded towards the other dancers. G’Raha chuckled and they dove into the crowd once more.

* * *

_Come, taste the wine_  
 _Raise the blind_  
 _They will guide you from the light_  
 _Writing noughts till the end of time_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhu! Sorry for taking so long! Had a bunch of stuff to do and then this chapter got so long I had to do two parts and yeah... the next one is going to be in the present again. :3
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it!!! Please leave your feedback, if you feel like it. <3
> 
> Love, Usagi


	7. Broken Crown - Chapter V in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I will not speak of your sin. There was a way out for Him. The mirror shows not - Your values are all shot._  
>  Broken Crowon by Mumford & Sons
> 
> **He speaks of so many things, but keeps so many more close to his chest. How do you trust a person, when you have no evidence of their sincerety? When you cannot even look them in the eyes?**

_Touch my mouth and hold my tongue_

_I'll never be your chosen one_

_I'll be home safe and tucked away_

_Well You can't tempt me if I don't see the day_

* * *

They passed the gate, the soldiers shooting her quick curious glances. The captain focused her eyes back on the road, seemingly unwilling to waste more of her time on a branded guest. 

The path behind the palisade turned into a slope, that slowly rose towards a grey stone wall and a bridge in the distance. Both sides of the gravel were still overgrown with lilac moss and a few trees, which in turn were protected by tall stones. Shia happily noted, that at least those looked familiar: They were a greyish brown. Not violet. 

She followed the hooded figure a few steps behind him. Her eyes were trained on the spot between his suspected shoulder blades, right above the staff. If he was to do anything fishy, she would have him at the mercy of her lance in no time. 

There were so many questions. And there was just no time. She needed to know. Needed to know about her friends, the Scions. Needed to know why he had called her over. Why he needed specifically her. Why he had called her when she had been on the battlefield. 

Shia clenched her fists and bit her lip once more, not to do something rash. Where she had been almost relaxed when arriving, anxiety and impatience were about to get a hold of her again. 

Right when she was finally going to speak up, the robed figure stopped and turned around. 

“Right then,” his voice had the tone of somebody about to get to business, “before we plunge into the wheres and wherefores, let me first thank you for answering my summons.” He sounded genuinely nice and even gave a polite bow. “I had intended to bring you directly to my personal quarters, but I fear my aim was ... slightly off.” 

Shia raised one eyebrow. _Slightly._ And she caught herself before commenting on it: _I like his voice. Calm. Reassuring. I wonder what his laugh would sound like._

* * *

_The pull on my flesh was just too strong_

_Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs_

_Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie_

_'Cause when I opened my body I breathe in a lie_

* * *

“That you were still able to make the crossing unharmed is ... a great relief. And so we come to the question of where. The realm in which you now find yourself belongs to one of the thirteen reflections or shards – the first, to be precise. Even if its inhabitants are largely oblivious to the fact. As to wherefore … having been awarded the rather grandious title of Crystal Exarch,” he chuckled, “I in my capacity as caretaker of the Crystarium, thought to seek the aid of you and your companions.” 

To her surprise, his words sounded sincere. She could already feel her anger begin to slip away, but kept her face straight, eyebrows tight. He didn’t need to know that yet. 

The Exarch turned around and for a moment, his gaze seemed to linger on the distant Crystal Tower. 

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you have cause?” Shia placed one arm on her hip and pinched the bridge of her nose with the free one. There was the anger again and her own voice echoed in her mind: 

_“Your first call? Alright, we were sitting together in a political meeting. But it was alright. Your second call, too. We were safe and sound in our headquarters. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that your calls were all too pleasant! But those two were bearable, at least. The third one though - a few minutes earlier and we would have been hit in the midst of battle. It could have cost me and_ _Alisaie_ _our_ _lifes_ _. Do you hear me? We could have been dead. And your final call? Your final call reached me when I was duelling an_ _Ascian_ _. He was about to strike me down when I blacked out. I was damn lucky to have friends with miraculous tendencies! If it hadn’t been for_ _Deus-Ex-_ _Estinien_ _, I would be as dead as the_ _Allagan_ _Empire! I am sure you had your reasons, but please don’t mind me being absolutely livid!”_

* * *

_I will not speak of your sin_

_There was a way out for Him_

_The mirror shows not_

_Your values are all shot_

* * *

Shias eyes were burning into the hidden parts of this face beneath the cowl, where she suspected his eyes. She was not just angry at him. All that anger and frustration that had pent up over the last few weeks was back in full force. And he was there, right now. And if he didn’t spit out his reasoning any time soon, she would probably just run off and try to find her friends on her own. After kicking him to the curb. 

But she still wouldn’t say all those things that she wanted to say out loud. He didn’t need to know about all that. He might be a good ally. And she could probably hit him with it later, if he didn’t spit out what she needed to know. 

He seemed at least a bit intimidated by the look on her face and took a deep breath before replying. 

“... an inkling, yes. I can only beg your forgiveness – matters here forced my hand. But all shall be explained in due course, I promise you.” 

If she could raise her eyebrows even more, they would probably vanish in her hairline. 

“Good! Though, why not now. Come on,” she coaxed and crossed her arms, “spit it out. Don’t be shy. I usually don’t bite people when they tell the truth.” 

He chuckled a bit and a smile spread across the visible part of this face. 

_He has pretty lips._ She wanted to slap herself. 

“Let us begin with the glaring skies up above.” 

And she listened to his explanation. Watching him intently, while he described the story of the First, the birth of the Sineaters. How he had to call her to save the first and subsequently her home, the source. 

An interesting tale. But only more work for her. 

_Put it over there with the stuff like an_ _Ascian_ _inhabiting Zenos’ body, Black Rose,_ _Primals_ _and all the other important stuff. I’ll be there in a moment. I just need to pass out first. But seriously, I wouldn’t mind it if our time here would go by faster than on the source. ‘t would mean that I could get stuff done over here and rush back home in time for dinner … or the next confrontation with Garlemald. Whichever comes first. H_ _opefully dinner though._

* * *

_But oh my heart, was flawed I knew my weakness_

_So hold my hand consign me not to darkness_

* * *

It was hours later that Shia had finally some time to breath. The so-called Crystal Exarch had first talked to her about the reasons for her summoning, followed by a tour of the city. 

The Crystarium was a far stretching hub and harboured all kinds of trades: If she was ever in need of a market, the Musica Universalis was the place to be. Anything concerning crafts and trades would be found in the Crytaline Mean, while the Hortorium hosted all kinds of plants. She was allowed to go everywhere and see everything. Whatever she wished for. 

She had even gotten a room in the Pendants all for herself. Though, it hadn’t exactly gone as one would think moving into a new place looked like. Shia had never gotten her own place, maybe except for her room in the Rising Stones, which was basically a bed and a nightstand. But the room in the Pendants was big, had a huge window, even a small balcony with flowers. It was her own one room apartment. 

Her own? 

Well, not entirely... 

As soon as she had opened the door an uneasy presence had appeared and she came face to face with a familiar face. One she hadn’t seen in a long time. And after a few moments she had run out of the room and into the Exarch at the Musica Universalis. 

“Oh, you are … back early. I thought you wished to rest,” he asked, his lips curled in a curious grin. 

“Pendant’s haunted,” Shia simply said, paying for a sack of salt. 

“Pardon?” 

She checked the salt and got out an iron bar, “Pendant’s haunted.” And she hurried back, leaving a rather stunned merchant and Exarch behind. 

Though, when Ardberd did not vanish after her attempts of exorcizing him, she took the time and heard him out. 

But he was actually the less worrying part. The thing that did worry her, was what he had talked about. Causing the flood of light, his pessimism and of course - Minfillia. 

_Gods dammit,_ _Minfillia_ _. What_ _have you done._

It had been many moons since she had heard that name. Nobody would utter it ever since she … disappeared. No one wanted to strain Thancreds nerves or see F’Lhaminn cry. Everyone had been fighting with her sacrifice on their own as a consequence. 

To her, to Shia, Minfillia had been a friend and losing her was sad. It had hurt. But she had never loved the woman as the others had. Yes, Minfillia had been kind and caring. But also overbearing and demanding. Shia attributed it to her, that she had been exhausted from not getting any sleep for days at a time. For getting beaten into a bloody mess again and again. All of that had gotten better, since Minfillia had stopped being the one sending her on missions. 

Or was it, that Shia had just gotten stronger and more used to it? Perhaps. But Alphinaud didn’t ask her to run multiple errands at the same time or for her to not only slay the primal, but also treat directly with the beast tribes and the leaders of the respective city state. Of course, Shia still talked to them and put down whoever was tempered. But depending on whose jurisdiction the beast tribe fell under, they would talk with the politicians. Alphinaud himself handled Ishgard, Thancred would always treat with Raubahn, Y’Shtola got Limsa Lominsa under control and since they had been back in business, Papalymo and Lyse had talked to the Seed Seers in Gridania. 

The Warrior of Light chocked back a sob. Lyse was now leading her people in Gyr Abania and Papalymo … they had never found his body. Had they even looked for it? Surely, somebody would have come to clean up Baelsars Wall. They must have found his body. And shame bubbled in her belly. Papalymo had been a dear friend and a great ally and she hadn’t even thought about going back for his body. She had run straight into saving Ala Mhigo. And with the garlean crown prince beating her up, there really was not much else on her mind for far too long. 

Shia sighed and went for a stroll in the city. At the aetheryte, she climbed up one of the staircases and leaned against the railing of the outdoor balcony. Overlooking the Exedra, she spotted the Crystal Exarch talking to a few people. Their chatter seemed to be rather lively. 

She searched her pocket pulled out an apple, eating while watching him go about his business. 

The people liked him. They came to him to show him things, the children tried to hide within his robes and everybody regarded him with friendly smiles. 

Her blonde tail was wiping from left to right. 

It didn’t change the fact, that she still did not wish to trust him. For all she knew, he could be her enemy, the Crystarium naught but an illusion. 

But there was something else bothering her. 

Shia was a Seeker of the Sun Miqo’te and whatever people might be speculating about their kind, from just being humanoid cats ( _“So you call the Au_ _Ra dragon people?”_ ) to them allegedly going into heats ( _“Excuse you – have you never had your hormones going crazy?!”_ ). But aside from the ears, tails and teeth, they did have another thing in common with the little felines: Their sense of smell. 

And Shia couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was, but he smelled … familiar. He smelled almost trustworthy. If that was possible. Of course, she only felt like this because his smell was for some crazy reason linked to the feeling of being save. 

Shia wished she could just not smell people like that, because it interfered with her common sense and self-preservation. You don’t just trust some random person, that called you through space and time. 

“Get your shit together,” she ruffled herself and ate the last piece of the apple. “He is as trustworthy as a moogle bargaining for kupo nuts.” 

“And what does that mean,” a rather irritated voice from behind her asked. 

“It means,” Shia sighed and turned to face her new ghostly companion, “that he would do and say anything to get from me what he wants. Ardbert. Do you know how I look talking to the air?” 

He snorted. “You don’t have to bloody answer then.” 

“But will you shut up if I don’t answer?” The woman rolled her eyes and began walking towards the stairs. 

“I don’t know, you can try. I am just happy that finally somebody can actually hear me!” He followed her. “And where are we going now?” 

“I,” she began, emphasis on the I, “will be visiting my friends. I haven’t seen them in far too long.” 

The stairs lead her onto the second level and towards the Amaro Launch. Of course, Ardbert was already waiting for her. 

“Whom will you visit first? The boy or the girl? What were their names again? Filou and Lise?” 

Was he butchering their names on purpose? 

Shia ignored him and strode towards the launch. 

“Excuse me,” she asked at the desk, “I’m in search of a man called Cassard. Where can I find him?” 

* * *

_Crawl on my belly til the sun goes down_

_I'll never wear your broken crown_

_I can take the rope and I can fuck it all the way_

_But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the slow update! I have been taking part in this years FFXIV writting challenge on Tumbrl and that has been sucking up all my energy and inspiration to be honest. There actually are a few short stories about Shia and G'raha in there. If you are interested, please check it out. 
> 
> As always: Thank you very much for reading! I hope, you had as much fun with it as I had writing this chapter


	8. Élan Part II - Chapter VI in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Come, drink deep let the dam of mind seep, Travel with great élan, dance a jig at the funeral, come!_  
>  Élan by Nightwish
> 
> **With no family to take care of, with no direction in life and no goals beyond surviving to see the next day, her work for the Scions gave her what no other employer could – a purpose. And she liked this purpose.**

_Come, surf the clouds_   
_Race the dark_   
_It feeds from the runs undone_   
_Meet me where the cliff greets the sea_

* * *

It had already been afternoon when they had arrived, but when the band finally stopped playing, the sun hung low behind the trees. Golden rays of light warmed their faces and the crowd around them slowly scattered into different directions.

Shia and G’Raha though just stood there for a second. Both of them were breathing heavily. Their faces flushed, strands of hair glued to their skin. They just looked at each other, each of them sporting a slowly growing grin, before both of them started laughing.

Shia buried her forehead in his shoulder and leaned against him, “where did you learn to dance?" She couldn’t say more, her breath still ragged.

“Sharlaya does have festivals,” he chuckled and in turn rested his head on her shoulder. “We don’t just study. We do have fun. Sometimes.”

A giggle escaped her lips. “Do you now? And I thought, all of you were like Urianger: Bookworms and living encyclopaedias.”

“Hey,” he quickly pocked her in the sides in retaliation and she jumped.

“Don’t! Don’t I’m-”

But G’Raha Tias fingers were now dancing across her waist, the Warrior of Light almost squirming in his grasp. She tried to twist and turn away from him, but instead of letting go, he simply wrapped his arms around her midsection and pulled her in, his front to her back.

“What do you think,” his chin rested on her shoulder, “shall we see if there are any cakes left at all?”

She turned her face, her nose accidentally touching his cheek. “Yes, let’s do that. I’m famished.”

For one long moment, they just looked at each other. He had white and pink pedals tangled in his hair. There was even one on his cherry coloured cheek. Shias finger carefully picked it up and caressed his skin.

“Pedal,” she mumbled, staring into the depths of his emerald and ruby eyes.

Time seemed to stand still, until a familiar voice rang in Shia’s ear.

“Shia Tamriel! It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

The two of them scattered with a moment's notice. Shia took a deep breath. She felt like she had not taken one in ages. Her eyes searched the crowds around them and found the familiar stern face of a Hyur. He wore his dark blonde hair pulled back in a low pony tail and sported a prominent scar above his right eye.

“Oh - oh,” she quickly tried to find her composure again and to rub some sweat off her forehead, “master Ywain! It’s been too long.”

“Please, you do not have to call me master,” he nodded proudly, his arms crossed hin front of his chest. “As far as I’m concerned, you have already surpassed me by lengths, haven’t you? The hero of Eorzea is what they call you now?”

Shia gave him an unsure smile, “yes, that’s what they call me. How have you been?”

And Ywaine wrapped his former student into a conversation about her adventures, the newest developments at the lancers guild and his grief with the new recruits.

Shia tried to cut the conversation short at every opportunity, always glancing back at her companion. G’Raha looked a bit bored, but not too bothered. Until he spotted something and grabbed Shias arm.

“Pardon me, good Sir,” he said in the most polite he could muster, “but I believe the Warrior of Light and I still have an appointment and we are running terribly late.”

Shias eyes widened at his brashness – she would have never dared to end the conversation with her old teacher like this. But Ywaine didn’t look like he minded at all.

“Ah yes, the hero of the people never gets a day off,” and his mind seemed to already be trailing back to his students, “visit your old guild once in a while, will ye lass? You’d do the gods work if you could whip the new recruits in shape.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” she promised. “Take care, master Ywaine!” And G’Raha was already pulling her away towards the markets.

“Pray tell me,” he hooked his arm into hers and almost hissed his words, “are you always this nice to everyone?”

“He is my former guild master. I learned half of my skills from him,” she protested, “and it’s rude to just walk out of a conversation.”

He sighed. “So that’s how you became Eorzeas champion: They politely asked you to do stuff for them and you happily agreed because you didn’t want to be rude. What a tragic outcome.” A hearty laugh sprung from his lips as he escorted the Warrior of Light through the slowly darkening Old Gridania.

Her tail poofed out and her ears seemed to be almost glued flat onto her head.

What he said was right to some degree. Especially when she had just joined the Adventurers guild, she had been in desperate need of work and money. So she had taken on any task she was presented with, be it delivering letters or slaying minor monsters to help the Adders. She never said no to anything, as menial as it might have been, as long as she would be paid for it. And that hadn’t changed until this very day. She would still do anything, the Scions asked her to do and they would pay her a few coins for her troubles, as also provide a roof above her head, medical attention if needed, food and water. The job didn’t pay as much as normal mercenary work would, but she also did it for herself: With no family to take care of, with no direction in life and no goals beyond surviving to see the next day, her work for the Scions gave her what no other employer could – a purpose.

And she liked this purpose.

Shia slowly detangled their arms.

* * *

_Building a sandcastle close to the shore_  
 _A house of cards from a worn-out deck_  
 _A home from the fellowship, poise and calm_  
 _Write a lyric for the song only you can understand_

* * *

The food was very tasty. The cakes were tiny works of art in themselves and they tasted sweeter than anticipated. The sticky cake almost glued their teeth together as they sat there. Talking was not an option.

Not, that either of them had anything they wanted to say. After G’Rahas little outburst, they had fallen into silence. She, because she thought about his words and whether she should be angry at him; he about her sudden silence.

The crowds around them had changed with nightfall. In the afternoon, they had seen mostly family’s with young children, while now it was mostly adults in varying states of intoxication: a giggling bunch of men, a group of snickering people were singing festival songs, while two adder soldiers were escorting a man, who couldn’t even stand on his own two feet any longer. A young not yet grown elezen held the hand of his hyuran companion. She hid her face in his shoulder and seemingly laughed at something he had said to her.

A timid hand rose to touch Shias shoulder. She almost flinched at the unexpected gesture.

“‘Tis is … awkward,” an apologetic smile played around his lips. He took his hand back. “Have I said something to upset you?”

Shia only watched him for a moment, chewing on a piece of cake. “Hhhmmm,” her hand made circling motions across her cheek. That damned cake had glued her teeth together.

Her companion timidly laughed at it. “Alright, uhm I hope you like it..?”

It took her a few more minutes to swallow and get rid of everything between her teeth. G’Raha watched her, amusement in his eyes.

“Ok so,” she took a deep breath, “You didn’t say something to upset me. But you weren’t really … how should I put this…” she picked at a small scar on her chin. Her ears twitched a bit.

“Just give it to me straight forward.”

“I love my position.” Her words were plain. “Yes, I hate the titles, the obligations and I hate all the attention, but I love helping the people of this realm. And I will never tell someone in need “No”. And I do believe it’s common curtesy to talk with people, especially if you owe them as much as I owe my teachers. I would be naught without them. Did you think I picked up my lance and simply started fighting? Nay,” Shia shook her head, “it was hard work. The hardest, in fact. And I’m still not as good as I could, perhaps should be. So do me a favour: don’t ever speak disrespectful about my obligations. As menial they might seem to you.”

He seemed taken aback. “I didn’t mean to-“

“No, you didn’t. I understand that perfectly,” she nodded, her eyes still strict, “but you just assumed. I guess, you spoke from the heart, right? But your truth doesn’t have to be mine. And I can assure you, it is not. I think, I once told you why I am necessary to fight primals. Know then, that I not only do it because I get told to do it and get paid for it. No.” Shia straightened her shoulders, “I also do it because I love to help others. I love to protect others. And also… and I might sound crazy, but…” she took a deep breath, “I love the challenge, too.“

The new silence was even more uncomfortable.

G’Raha couldn’t look at her and contended himself with the knuckles of his hands. Shia meanwhile shoved the last piece of cake between her teeth.

He let out a big sigh, usually perky ears hanging low for a change.

“I pushed a big red button, didn’t I?”

Her head whirled around, teeth stuck together again.

“I’m sorry I offended you. I didn’t mean to,” G’Raha weighed his head from left to right, “I just blurted out what shot through my head and I often don’t think about the feelings of the people around me. At least, before I talk.” A tiny bit of red grazed the tip of his nose.

“Is that what they call verbal diarrhoea,” Shia managed to get out between her caked teeth. She tried as hard as she could to not drool.

He laughed.

“Maybe!”

“I’m sorry for being so harsh,” she took a napkin and brushed off some accidental drool from her lips. “I usually don’t… voice my opinion this loud.”

“I know,” a red bushy tail swayed up and down, lightly drumming on the wooden bench, “I’ve never heard you complain or even talk when not asked for your opinion. You tend to just swallow your thoughts. If I may,” he finally turned to look at her again, “please. Never hold yourself back. At least when it comes to me. I can be an annoying little shite, I know. And I need you to give it to me straight. Like you did just now.”

Her cheeks burned. She wasn’t taken aback by his request, but for the first time in what felt like ages, someone actually wanted her to talk to them – honestly and openly. Somehow, he had managed to make her happy and flustered at the same time.

“... I will try to do that then,” she gave him the tiniest of smiles.

* * *

_Come, taste the wine_  
 _Raise the blind_  
 _They will guide you from the light_  
 _Writing noughts till the end of time_  
 _Come, surf the clouds_  
 _Race the dark_  
 _It feeds from the runs undone_  
 _Meet me where the cliff greets the sea_

_Riding hard every shooting star_   
_Come to life, open mind, have a laugh at the orthodox_   
_Come, drink deep let the dam of mind seep_   
_Travel with great élan, dance a jig at the funeral, come!_

* * *

After their talk, they walked around a bit. Starlight shimmered through the treetops; the lanterns burned. Fireflies roamed the edges of the paths, sat in the bushes and one even rested on the tip of one cherry coloured ear for a while.

They walked in a comfortable silence, only pointing out a few things as they made their way through the forest and back to the porter. There was still a carriage back to Mor Dhona to be caught. This time though, they did not have to rush and actually took their time.

On the ride back, they sat next to each other.

Shia played a bit with her fingers, until she felt a soft weight on her shoulder. A slow turn of her head later and she inhaled wiry red hair.

_Leather, parchment and ink._

Shia buried her nose in his hair for a moment, just enjoying this tiny moment of calm and intimacy. No burdens, no fears, no nightmares, no assignments, no monsters.

Just she. And _he._

Even if it was only an instant, she would cherish this forever.

* * *

_Taste the wine_  
 _Raise the blind_  
 _They will guide you from the light_  
 _Writing noughts till the end of time_  
 _Ooh, come, surf the clouds_  
 _Race the dark_  
 _It feeds from the runs undone_  
 _Meet me where the cliff greets the sea, come!_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally nothing to say for myself! Maybe only, that I am a bit exhausted. A lot is going on in RL and I want to write, but right now, everytime I sit down to do it, I kind of struggle to get something on paper.  
> Anyways.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one is going to take place in the present again! BTW 5.1 was wonderful and so wholesome, I can still feel my heart glow. <3  
> Thank you for reading! Please have a marvelous day!


	9. If Inside these Walls was a House Part I - Chapter VII in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Restless memories keep hunting us, It is time to cast the storm that lives within you, The great divide, fortune's on our side, Designing a plan to raise the monsters' atrophy_  
>  If Inside These Walls Was A House by Epica
> 
> **There was so much to tell and much more to discuss. Of course, they would probably not get to the meat of all there was to talk about, but simply checking in with each other and listening to what each of them had been up to would be a nice change of pace.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Reader discretion advised: The first part of this chapter contains strong imagery and body horror!**

_Come and rest your head here peacefully_

_All of us are safe until the sun starts rising_

_The walls are strong_

_Time to_ _rejoin_ _our strength to defeat them leading to our victory_

* * *

A loud bang. Blinding lights. Agonisingly loud shots. Multiple ones in succession. Motor sounds. The smell of burning ceruleum. A deafening sound. 

Shia ducked beneath a burning vehicle. Shards and fragments of what seemed to have been an airship flew over ahead. 

„Stay down,“ she yelled back towards Alisaie. The girl was right behind her. She was sporting a defiant expression, but Shia could see her rapier shiver. 

„You will be fine. I’m here. I’m taking care of you,“ she grabbed her friends hand. 

Alisaie nodded. „I know,“ she yelled back over the sound of another explosion right next to them. 

„Come on,“ and Shia tugged her up. Together, they ran across the partally open field. 

The spear at the ready, Shia looked left and right, before leaping out of the attack range of a magitek colossus. She cursed herself for not having chosen more appropriate armour for this, but it wasn’t like she could have really changed before they had to move out. But her leather pants and thin crop top didn’t really grant her protection. Not, that it would matter in a battle with the colossus. If she wore heavy plate and got hit by it, she would still be done for. 

With a quick glance she looked for Alisaie. The teen was alright, though panting heavily. 

„I’ve got this,“ the Warrior of Light yelled, „go – Aymeric and Hien are just up ahead!“ 

„But Shia-„ 

„GO!“ 

And without waiting for another argument, Shia charged at the magitek machine. It was huge, an easy target you would think. But its exterior had been enhanced with garlean steel, a stainless and much more sturdy version of the one the Iron Works used. It was simply something, that she couldn’t pry open with her lance. It would break like a cheap can opener before even scratching the surface. Therefore, she had to find its weak point. An opening. 

But first, Shia had to duck beneath a swing of its huge sword. She slid, almost danced across rough floor, pebbles getting stuck in her greave's soles. 

Her slide came to an end right behind the monstrosity. The Warrior of Light whirled around, lance at the ready. Skyblue eyes charted every inch of the things backside before it could even properly react to her disappearing beneath it’s swings. 

When it adjusted and began to turn, a grin spread on Shia’s face. She had found her opening. 

Her knees groaned from overuse. The battle had been raging for few hours already and Dragoons were not made for lasting fights. The strain on their body was too great for that. They excelled in deadly but fast confrontations, downing their enemy, before they could even comprehend what was going on. 

But this was war and the flood of enemies seemed endless. And as short as she kept her fights, there was a limit on how many she could finish without hastening the wear and tear of her body. 

_Stop thinking,_ she scolded herself and almost pounced onto the colossus’ back. She took a large stride and almost effortlessly climbed the steel giants back. With the force of her momentum, she raised her lance, plunging the end through the small unprotected slit between the machines body and it’s head. 

It came to a stop almost immediately. The body had been twisting, but now it just sank down, slowly hunching over. 

Shia rolled off it’s back, before it hit the ground. She adjusted her shirt a bit and twirled her lance back into a more comfortable position in her hand. 

Where had Alisaie gone? 

A loud explosion to her right made Shia hide beneath the freshly downed colossus. Screams echoed through the air, but the Warrior of Light couldn’t hear anything. A white static noise in hear ears had replaced all other sound. She tried to concentrate on her surroundings nonetheless, but the sound distorted her sense of orientation. 

In the corner of her eye, she spotted a bunch of white hair rushing towards her. Alisaie was yelling something, Yugiri and Hien at her heels. The young Elezen kneeled before the colossus, one arm extended to her friend 

Shia was about to wiggle herself free, when a something caught her allies attention. Within the blink of an eye, a white light blinded her. Mud, gravel, machinery and- 

“Alisaie,” the Warrior of Light mumbled, her hands searching the ground before her. She was blinded and still deafened by the noise in her ears. Deprived of two of her major senses, she literally grasped for her friend and finally found a hand. But when she tugged on it, to pull Alisaie beneath the protective shell, it came all to easily. 

“Alisaie..? Alisaie!” 

Shia’s hands grasped the arm, her fingers slowly fumbling across the cloth on it to grasp Alisaies shoulder. But there was no shoulder. 

The light slowly returned to Shia’s eyes. 

“No…” she whispered, “no – Alisaie!” 

* * *

_Raindrops dancing over heavy hearts_

_The fire in the eyes of death hides in the corner_

_Glowing lights brush off all the fright_

_Our dreams navigate us in our search of liberty_

* * *

A dull thud and a searing pain in her shoulder brought Shia back to reality. 

Her eyes were watering – whether it was from the actual pain or the still vivid nightmare … She couldn’t tell. The braids she had pulled her hair into the night before had loosened and her ashen hair fell in messy curls around her face. 

_I’m a literal mess,_ it shot through her head. 

Slowly, Shia pushed herself up from the cold stone floor of her apartment in the pendants. Rising to her feet, she adjusted her beige linen shirt and the black shorts she wore for sleeping. Not, that there was anybody who would care if she slept naked but- 

“Had a nightmare?” 

_Of course._ She had almost forgotten her new “flatmate”. 

“I did. If you don’t mind,” the Warrior of Light blinked a few times and focused on the almost transparent figure across from her, “I’d rather not talk about it.” 

“Have it your way,” he shrugged. 

“What time is it? Did I oversleep?” 

Her feet stung on the cold floor as she made her way towards the window. Even though she had closed the thick curtains to sleep, a few narrow beams of light still made it through. She pushed the cloth aside and immediately had to cover her eyes from the brightness outside. 

Ardbert behind her chuckled, “not so bright right after waking up, are ya.” 

He was really annoying, but also right. She wasn’t home on the source. This was the first and it’s eternal light shone no matter how late at night it was supposed to be. And her head had been occupied with other things, than rationalising her surroundings. At least, for the moment, she could still see the image of that battlefield edged into the glass of the window. The ringing still echoing in her ears. 

A yawn escaped Shia’s mouth and she opened the windows to water the plants on the balcony. It was always the first thing she did after waking up. A small routine to keep her grounded in reality, when literally everything seemed so out of place: The eternal light from above, her ghostly companion, people turning into monsters and … and the Exarch. That mysterious, hooded and somehow really annoying man, who had the audacity to- 

_Don’t get angry again. You will get your chance to be angry, but not today, not now, not in the morning._

She yawned once more and closed the windows again. There was no chronometer in her room, but the small orchestrion in the kitchen section had a small clock. 

It was seven forty-five. 

“Plenty of time,” Shia stretched, turning to the metal stove, “coffee. I need coffee.” 

* * *

_Restless memories keep hunting us_

_It is time to cast the storm that lives within you_

_The great divide,_ _fortune's_ _on our side_

_Designing a plan to raise the monsters' atrophy_

* * *

The Warrior of Light left her room about half a bell later. She had downed a cup of a strong black brew and thrown on her usual dark outfit, with the scarf neatly draped around her shoulders to keep her warm. Her blonde hair, now thoroughly combed, curled across it in a half a braid and she had applied her dark face paint and lipstick. 

Shia called the get-up her war paint, since it helped her with keeping up the slight aura of mystery and authority. She really couldn’t help it, but with everything that had happened, she felt like she needed to make sure, that everybody kept a bit of distance. Sadly, her being introduced to everyone as the Exarchs friend had eroded every bit of reluctance the inhabitants of the city might have had before approaching her. They laughed and waved. And of course: Shia could not not return their friendly smiles. As much as she wanted to seem distant and aloof – that's just not who she was. 

Because of the everlasting light, someone was always awake at the Crystarium. The shops never seemed to close, only the staff changed throughout the day. Therefore, it wasn’t surprising, that the near markets were buzzing with people. Shias actual destination though were the Wandering Stairs. The local was filled with a funny mix of people: Some tables were occupied by silent men and women eating breakfast, others were crowded with loud people getting drunk. It was bizarre. 

A quick look around and Shia knew, that both Alisaie and Alphinaud had yet to arrive at the venue. After returning to the Crystarium with Alphinaud late last night after the trip to Kohlusia, the three of them had agreed to meet at breakfast before paying the Exarch a visit. There was so much to tell and much more to discuss. Of course, they would probably not get to the meat of all there was to talk about, but simply checking in with each other and listening to what each of them had been up to would be a nice change of pace. 

The local was filled to the brim and Shia turned her attention to the less occupied bar. A large Roegadyn stood there, serving a man a freshly tapped beer. 

“’morning Glynard,” she smiled and leaned on the wood. 

“If it isn’t the Exarchs newest companion! Shia was it? What can I do for you, my dear.” Glynard laughed. He washed his hands while giving her a good look up and down. 

“I am going to meet with two of my friends and just wanted to ask you if one of the tables might be free shortly?” 

“Well, those guys over there have certainly overstayed their welcome,” he nodded towards a small table with four rather drunk looking guests. “Give me a minute.” 

A round of well picked words was all that Glynard needed to round looking men up and get them to leave. Shia was watching him and one of his staff members clean the table, when a slight tap on her shoulder made her turn her head. 

“Good morning,” a rather chipper Alisaie wrapped her arms around the Warrior of Light, “I take it you slept just as well as I? Those beds here are heavenly compared to the cots I have been sleeping on for the past year.” 

Shia chuckled. “Oh are they now. But you wouldn’t have had it any other way, right?” Alisaie almost seemed too happy for what had last happened in Amh Aerang. Then again, she had had a few days to work through the beginning stages of her grief. Or she was just shoving it all down as long as she could. One of the many facettes they shared. 

“Of course not. Are we going to stay at the bar? Or should we wait for a table to free up? I must confess, I am starving.” Her eyes roved across the abundance of fruits and vegetables on display behind one of the waitresses. 

“To be quite honest, I think Glynard just cleared us one,” Shia looked back and the establishments owner was about to throw a fresh table cloth across the freshly freed wooden panel. 

He waved for the two women. 

“Come, let’s have breakfast.” Shia hooked her arm with Alisaies and together they made for their spot. 

Glynard himself supplied them with a hearty warm breakfast and freshly brewed coffee. The girls dug in, not wanting to wait for Alphinaud and their food to get cold. The topic of their conversation started with the intricacies of frying bacon just right, moved on to the aery violet plants of Lakeland and to the strange new types of fruits they had been served for breakfast. 

Shia took her last sip of coffee when the other Leveilleur twin finally arrived. 

“I am so sorry,” Alphinaud bowed to them before sliding onto a chair. He seemed almost out of breath. “I wanted to catch up with my diary entries for our last days in Eulmore and so I-” 

“-you stayed up far too late and overslept,” Alisaie rolled her eyes, “old news, brother. Come on now, the coffee is cold by now, but I bet Glynard would be all too happy to supply us with a fresh pot.” 

“Yes - I – ok. You see-” 

“Oh spare me.” 

“But I-” 

A big smile bloomed on Shias face, as she waved towards the bar to catch the attention of one of the employees. Oh how she had missed them. Both of them. Their eternal banter and brilliant conversations. Their supportive and always warm words for her. Shia had grown up most of her life without a family, but if she would have had siblings, this is what it would have been like. She began to laugh at an especially rude comment by Alisaie and the twins turned their heads. 

“I’m sorry,” Shia tried to catch her breath, “but it’s feels so good to hear you argue again. It makes all of this seem less like a hyper realistic dream and more like reality.” 

“To be quite honest, I am not certain that this being our reality is better than if it was a dream,” Alphinaud supplied. He crossed his arms. “I do sometimes ask myself, if all of this is not just an elaborate hoax or a nightmare brought to me by drinking late at night with one of you. But since all of us are here, I doubt that it is something we might wake up from any time soon.” 

“Agreed,” his sister poured the remaining brew of the first batch in equal parts into their cups, “but at least we are in this together. And how often does it happen, that this many people share the same dream.” 

“True enough.” Shia raised her cup, “to us! And to surviving this madness!” 

* * *

_Restless memories keep hunting us_

_It is time to cast the storm that lives within you_

_The great divide,_ _fortune's_ _on our side_

_Designing a plan to raise the monsters' atrophy_

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they payed their share and slowly made their way towards the gates to the Crystal Tower. The streets were as populated as before and people were going about their daily chores. Some of them greeted the trio, as they walked by. 

“So, would it be alright for the two of you to take over the conversation? I’d rather not speak to the Exarch too much.” Shia scratched her nose. 

Alisaies brow popped up. “Alright, but would you mind telling us why you’d rather not talk to him?” 

“Count me as intrigued as well,” Alphinaud mirrored his sisters’ expression, “it is not like you to not talk to someone. If I recall correctly, that only ever happened once.” 

“It’s hard to explain … It’s...” Shia thought for a moment and lowered her voice before continuing, “he seems to be a truly good person and his conviction and wish to help these people is heart-warming. If we were in any other circumstances, I would not hesitate to do anything to support him. But he is so mysterious. We know almost nothing about him and he got you into this rather precarious situation. Can you really blame me for wanting to keep my distance? At least emotionally? Also,” she cleared her throat, “I am still freaking livid about him pulling you guys over here without so much of a word of warning and I fear, I’d start yelling.” 

Shia decided not to let them know, that he felt awfully familiar. That she would keep to herself. 

But it seemed she had already supplied plenty of reasons. Alisaie broke out in laughter, while Alphinaud vowed to be as eloquent as ever and keep her out of the conversation as much as possible. 

And that he did. Or rather, the both of them. 

While the twins recounted their experiences in Kohlusia and Amh Araeng, the Warrior of Light stood back a bit. Arms crossed in front of her chest, shoulders relaxed and her face a mask of almost indifference. He wouldn’t ask her too much. 

The conversation drifted from the general situation on Norvrandt to the lightwardens and the rejoining. It was a rather interesting topic, to be fair. So she listened and learned as much as she could. Memorizing knowledge wasn’t her strong point, but the more she gathered, the better. 

But before they could get to the more interesting points of the discussion, the doors behind them burst open and a familiar woman with grey hair, pointy bunny ears and the signiture Crystarium armour entered. 

“Forgive the interruption, my lord, but Holminster Switch is requesting reinforcements,” the captain of the guard announced, “They say the sin eaters are attacking in force, and the village could soon be overrun.” 

All of them jerked around, the air suddenly tense. The twins gave each other a quick look before storming out of the ocular. 

So much for staying with her. 

The Exarch though, seemed to know exactly what to do. “Alert the guard. We should be prepared in case the fighting reaches the Crystarium.” His voice was suddenly less soft and even a tad bit deeper. “You have command of our forces in the field, Captain, but hold off on entering the town until I arrive. That goes for Alphinaud and Alisaie as well.” 

Lyna saluted, “my lord!” 

Shia turned towards the Exarch, as Lyna was already dashing out again. 

“Until you arrive,” the Warrior of Light raised her eyebrow, “do you wish to join the fray then?” 

A leader who did not stray from getting his hands dirty was someone she could get behind – if she could get over her other suspicions. 

He nodded. 

“Pray, lend us your strength. Such a fight will provide you with far greater insight than any explanation I could offer.” 

For a long moment, Shia just looked at him. Her eyes got stuck on the shadows beneath his cowl. She hoped, her gaze was making him feel at least a little uneasy. 

He didn’t react and the question still hung in the air. 

Maybe. Just maybe it was time to grant him a the smallest measure of trust and take that leap of faith. 

“Come on then, Exarch.” Shia extended her gloved hand towards him, a confident look on her face. “I shall see you safely to the battle and protect you and yours from any danger until we are back in the Crystarium. Just as the Warrior of Light does.” 

* * *

_Avenge the soul that's watching over us_

_Listen to the voice that guides us on our way_

_I see the light in your eyes shining brighter tonight_

_Unbroken chains sustained with agony shall be the triumph of a world_

_That's living in the flames_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter!  
> This is basically the first of two parts centered around the incident at Holminster Switch. The song therefore relates to both chapters. I am actually contemplaiting a PoV change for the next chapter.  
> But to stay with this one: I wrote the very first part of this chapter a few weeks ago already and refined it for the chapter. Let us be completelly honest here - the WoL has had it rough in between 4.4 and 4.56. First, you loose your closest friends and allies and the next thing you know is that you are fighting a war in the Gimlyth Dark, trying to protect your home. Shia is not a trained soldier. Yes, she has taken on certain mannerisms and picked up a quirk or two, but she was an adventurer. She doesn't fight to kill, but to live and to protect. Kicking the Garleans out of Eorzea was one thing. It's an entirely different thing to basically be the spearhead of the operation. And everything that happened in the Gimlyth Dark is still heavy on her mind. Usually, she tries not to let it get to her, because that would just stop her from doing what she must do to do her duty, but who can controll their dreams? So what remains are short nights and her general nervousness: Will she make it home in time to lend her weapon once more to the alliance? 
> 
> But that's it from me so far guys! Thank you once more for reading and I wish you an amazing day or night!!
> 
> Your Usagi


	10. If Inside these Walls was a House Part II - Chapter VIII in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dive into the waves be free, Defeating our tragedy, The future's bright and you will see, We'll still be here in the morning_  
>  If Inside These Walls Was A House by Epica
> 
> **But – oh – how he yearned to join her. To hone his skills and help her defend Eorzea from enemies far and wide. How he had hoped to one day join her in her travels. Or to ask her to join him in discovering ancient tombs and in uncovering age old mysteries. And if all that was just too much to ask, he would have been content with one more spring dance in Gridania.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter includes alternating POVs. I have made sure to make it obvious, whose it is at the moment. But should you have trouble seperating them, I'll gladly come back and edit the chapter - just let me know. :)  
> Please enjoy!

Her hand held his tight. Black leather glove fiercely holding onto the cold blue crystal of his palm.

At first, he hadn’t been sure, if he should take her hand. If it was wise to do so. If he should rather keep his distance. If he should thank her and walk on his own. After all, he was perfectly capable of walking, running and whatnot.

But there was that look in her eyes. A confident smile spread across her cheeks, her hand held out and … and that glimmer in her eyes. The fire behind the two ice blue walls that usually concealed her true emotions so very well.

The last time he had seen that fire, she had been yelling at him.

_“Heroism? That’s it? Those are your last words to me? Do you really mean to do this? Do you really mean to do this like... well ... this?”_

The reassuring confidence, that whatever may, they would work it out. That there was a way they could do it and both be fine. Whatever “it” was. They would not fail. She would make sure of that.

Shia had changed so much since he had last seen her. She had grown her hair out, the blonde locks reaching beyond her shoulders now.

Of course, she wore a different armour, but her general demeanour had changed, too: Where she almost danced with her lance before and giddily ran across the vast fields of Eorzea, she now walked with a purpose in her step and swung her weapon with less twirls and much more precision, if not deadly force. Her expression had hardened, though he wasn’t sure if that was because of what she had seen, or because the Exarch had not yet earned her trust.

And her scars.

To him, it was as if they were glowing, whispering to him, almost singing of the unspeakable enemies she had bested. Those enemies, who had marred her skin and given her something to remember. Some would call it a mark of honour.

What did she call them?

He would not ask her. Not yet at least. If ever.

All those thoughts had rushed through his head in an instant. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again.

“Let me assure you, I don’t bite,” her confident smile grew a bit playful and he could see the young woman he had gotten to know all those many years ago, surfacing behind the mask of concentration and indifference. “But the things out there might and I would like to make sure, that they don’t get accustomed to the taste of Crystal Exarch.” A quip.

“In that case,” he could feel his lips curl into a smile, “I shall know my life in your capable hands.”

And when he had finally placed his hand in hers, she closed her fingers around it.

“You asked me to trust you. Now I ask you to trust me.”

She was so close. Her eyes so very reassuring.

The tug of her hand was gentle at first, but as soon as she had turned around, she pulled him with her, falling into a sprint.

_Oh Hydaelin, I hope I can keep up._

* * *

_Slaughter glorified_

_Bleeding hands are tied_

_Rivalry untold_

_Battles to behold_

_Standing up to murdering machines_

_We pave the way to our victory_

* * *

She held his hand tight all the way through the Crystarium until they reached the Gates towards the forest around the small village Holminster Switch.

The Exarch would yell directions at her from behind and she would adjust. Adjust she did to his speed, too. He was fast and he did keep up at first, but after crossing the bridge towards Lakeland, she had to slow down a bit, after hearing his heavy panting. The Exarch was not used to running after all, she figured.

Their hands detangled as soon as they spotted their allies.

Alisaie, Alphinaud and Lyna were at the gates. The commander and her men were taking care of a few wounded civilians, a few others got escorted up the path towards the Crystarium.

“Sorry for the delay,” Shias right hand grasped her lance and pulled it off her back, “what is the situation?”

Alisaie stood at the ready, rapier already in hand. “There are civilians coming through and we suspect there might be more between here and the village. The path ahead leads through a malm and a half of thick forest and across another malm of open fields. And if it pleases you,” she turned her eyes to the Exarch, who was catching his breath behind Shia. Alisaies gaze seemed truly annoyed, “I would like to go in and try to rescue as many people as possible now.”

“And as I told her,” Lyna sounded just as annoyed as Alisaie looked, “that they are to wait here for your orders, m’lord!”

“I would like to remind the Captain, that she does not command me!”

“It is for your own good!”

“I know damn well what is good for myself!”

“Alisaie, please-” Alphinaud tried. He really did. And it looked like he was the reason why the two women had not yet started to get physical with one another.

“Thank you for your patience,” the Exarch had finally decided to join the conversation, “Captain - you and I shall accompany the three of them. To my knowledge,” he nodded towards the twins, “the two of you are rather accomplished fighters and my dear friend Shia is a master of the lance. Together, it should be possible to carve a path through the Sineaters and into Holminster Switch.”

Shia couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Of course, her brain already supplied her with another very bad ambiguous joke. She would need to slap the back of her head later, since Y’Shtola wasn’t around to do it for her.

“But m’lord - are you quite certain?” The captain of the guard did not seem convinced.

Alisaie didn’t want to wait any longer. Rapier in hand, she charged ahead.

“Come on Shia! Alphinaud!”

The Warrior of Light didn’t need a second invitation to follow.

“The longer we wait, the more people die,” she yelled back at her comrades. Alphinaud gave chase, just as she turned towards the trees.

Alisaie hadn’t come too far, when Shia caught up. Together, they sprinted across the forest path. Pebbles, fallen leaves and sticks crunched beneath their feet. They threw each other a glance, grinning ear to ear.

“It’s been too long,” Alisaie laughed.

“Indeed, it has.”

“Keep up, old girl!”

And the young Leveilleur made a leap forward, plunging her sword straight through the head of a huge white bear. She pulled the blade to the right and back to the left, splitting the gruesome looking thing in half like a soft boiled breakfast egg.

A second creature suddenly jumped over the flailing body of the first, it’s smaller, but long features stretched out, a soggy tongue hanging out of it’s maw.

Alisaie raised her blade, but before she could do anything, a blue flash thundered above her head and the creature got knocked back. Shia had employed a jump and nailed the wailing thing onto the ground with her lance.

A loud howl and another three of the same type of creatures charged them.

But Shia had already spotted them. She pulled her weapon free, twirled it above her head for a second, before hitting the ground in front of her with it. The attack sent out three fiery shockwaves towards the attackers, taking one out. The other two were almost on her, but Shia took a step back and a bunch of fierce stabs practically mowed the enemies down.

“I always forget that you can do that,” Alisaie climbed over the dissipating body of the first enemy, already falling back into a sprint. “Let’s go!”

“Hm.” Shia grunted, not losing a beat.

* * *

_Oceans' plenty flames_

_Voyagers untamed_

_Beating hearts of fear_

* * *

The others didn’t catch up to them until they reached a clearing. Shia and Alisaie stood at the opening, their eyes fixed onto something floating above them.

“If you could … please … not … charge … ahead,” a seemingly exhausted Alphinaud whispered behind them.

Lyna nodded in agreement. “’tis dangerous!”

“It might have escaped you, but _we_ are dangerous,” Alisaie spat back.

“Focus.”

Shias eyes were trained on the larger-than-life-sized white marble statue, that was slowly floating downwards toward them. It was familiar. Too familiar.

“That’s the one we saw in Amh Araeng,” the Warrior of Light threw a glance at her rapier swinging companion, who of course had already made the connection.

“Amh Araeng...?”

“It killed a friend,” Shia supplied, nudging Alphinaud with her elbow. “Be careful: If that sword impales you, you will become a sin eater. And that is neither a pretty sight, nor a pleasant experience. So let’s not do that.”

The Crystal Exarch raised his hands. The aether around them vibrated, condensing between his fingers and within the blink of an eye, he held a blue glowing shield and sword combination.

“You will join us in battle?” Shias eyes narrowed a bit.

“Waiting on the side-lines ill becomes me. Pray, allow me to support you in this endeavour.”

A chuckle escaped Shias lips. “If you insist. And I will protect you. As I promised. But keep in mind that I will toss you back into the forest, should you get in the way.”

“I count on it.”

And Shia rushed forward. She could hear a faint “what just happened” coming from a confused Alisaie, but the Warrior of Light already focused on the enemy ahead.

* * *

_Warfare drawing near_

_Endless source of our misery_

_Deliver us from the madness_

* * *

His heart thrilled against his crystaline chest. He almost feared, it might break through his ribcage.

The Warrior of Light had jumped ahead and started the battle, her young companions just behind her. Alphinaud stood a bit to the sides, Alisaie plunged right in after Shia and was followed by Lyna.

For a long moment, he just watched them.

They stood against the powerful sin eater, pushing the beast back, only to dash out of the way again, to avoid an attack.

He gripped his aetherical weapons tight.

This was it. His chance to fight by their side. By her side. Just as he had always wished to.

When they found the Labyrinth, he had been held back. A scholar should not rush headfirst into battle. When they had opened the tower, they told him to leave the fighting to the professionals. And in the void of the thirteenth, he had been left behind to follow the trail of her fallen enemies.

He knew his worth was not in his battle prowess. He was a scholar first and furthermost - he knew and accepted it.

But – oh – how he yearned to join her. To hone his skills and help her defend Eorzea from enemies far and wide. How he had hoped to one day join her in her travels. Or to ask her to join him in discovering ancient tombs and in uncovering age old mysteries. And if all that was just too much to ask, he would have been content with one more spring dance in Gridania.

Alas, none of those things would happen. Ever.

But now, right here, he would fight by her side. And as the creature held its sword high to deliver a devastating blow onto young Alphinaud, he finally moved and stole the eaters attention.

The blade hit his shield and he parried.

“You are mine,” he roared and swung his own.

“Well done,” a female voice yelled from the other side of the battlefield.

Shia plunged her lance into the back of the monster, looking at him with a confident smirk. Her long blonde hair was partially glued to her forehead, her face glistening in the sunlight, sweat and dirt on her features. “Don’t get distracted!”

And she was right. His concentrations had wavered for just a slight moment after her yell, she being the most alluring distraction he had ever encountered.

He wouldn’t let himself get distracted again. There would be enough times to gaze at her later. If they survived.

* * *

_Dive into the waves be free_

_Defeating our tragedy_

_The future's bright and you will see_

_We'll still be here in the morning_

* * *

The fight was over far quicker than Shia had anticipated. With five of them just ready to throw down, their opponent was fading fast. They basically obliterated the previously dangerous and menacing enemy.

_If we had been together like this, we could have saved Tesleen._

Shia regretted her wayward thoughts as soon as they reached Holminster Switch proper. The enemies in between didn’t really concern them – it was naught but a bunch of turned cattle. But as soon as they entered the village, they were faced with the powerful and emotionally damming evidence of their failure.

Alisaie’s and Shia’s, that is.

Her face was still easily discernible, even though her friendly features had been warped into an almost grotesque caricature. A glance to the young Elezen lady next to her, answered all the questions Shia had and told her even more.

Alisaie was visibly shaking, her teeth grinding and eyes on the target.

Was she blaming herself? Probably. Was Shia blaming herself, too? Of course. But Shia was certain, she would be able to fight this si neater. She wasn’t as certain about Alisaie.

Any worry was blown into the wind, when said red mage charged forward, blade at the ready. Her body moved quickly, striking at the enemy with deadly precision. Each of her muscles moving accordingly. All of Alisaie radiating her intend to kill.

But it wasn’t enough and one swipe of a stone cold white arm send her flying across the place.

Alphinaud and Shia were right behind her though, a heal and a counter attack at the ready.

“It’s alright,” the Warrior of Light yelled while piercing one enormous wing with her spear, “you are not alone, Alisaie!”

“I know, but-“

“Learn. To. Lean. On. Us!” And it was Shia’s turn to flee from a well placed swipe.

“She is right, you know,” Alphinaud helped his sister stand up, “we are in this together. And when we are back at the Crystarium, I expect you to tell me in detail, why you’d charge ahead like this.”

“Oh spare me,” the twin muttered. She rubbed the back of her hand across her chapped lip to get rid of a bit of blood.

“I’m just trying to-“

A wheezing sound and the twins jumped apart, as the Captain of the Crystarium Guards got thrown their way.

“We must concentrate on the foe,” the Exarch hit the creature with a well placed strike, finally grabbing its attention for himself. “Concentrate and attack together!”

 _… Is he calling the shots now?_ A sly grin hushed across Shias features. _If he keeps that up he might even grow onto me._

After their first less than stellar attempts, the group finally got a hold of themselves again. The Exarch basically hogged the beasts attention, Alphinaud cast one spell after another and the other three of them pierced and slashed it for all their worth.

The Sineater finally sunk to the ground, it’s wings featherless and thoroughly destroyed. A high pitched shriek escaped it.

Alisaie was the first one to approach. There was no emotion on her face. Nothing, that could tell her friends about her thoughts and feelings in the moment.

She slowly knelt down, her right hand holding the blade almost relaxed.

“I’m sorry, dear friend,” the girl whispered, “I wish I could have done more for you.”

The thing was about to let out another scream, but the rapier pierced its forehead, finally putting it to rest.

Alphinaud approached his sister. His timid hand on her shoulder trembled.

“I don’t know who this person was to you. But please,” he smiled reassuringly, “tell me about them when we are back at the Crystarium.”

“I might even do that. But for now,” the red mage pulled her blade from the victims head, “there is a Lightwarden awaiting us, is there not?”

* * *

_We won't bow down won't abide_

_The law they live by won't destroy our lives_

* * *

The light around them gave everything an eery tint. The whole world seemed bleached out. It almost felt as if they had just left a dark room into the blazing light of the sun.

But there was no sun. Just an endless sea of clouds and it’s bright glow.

And everything seemed to have even less colour around the monster in front of them. The Lighwarden was a humongous thing. Seemingly sitting down, it stretched its thick marble limbs in front of itself, not walking but much rather pulling itself across the plaza in front of what seemed to be a burning villa. A pair of wings, far too tiny to actually help it fly, and useless chains, rattling with each of its movement, completed the grotesque picture of it.

The thing was the strangest enemy they had yet encountered. And that was saying something especially for Lyna and the Exarch.

The enemy started attacking before they were ready. The earth shook under each of it’s attacks.

Heavy hits from it’s enormous limbs. The tail strong enough to destroy entire buildings with one sweep.

Shia pounced, pierced and poked with everything she had, slashing as much and as hard as she could.

The Warden once more focused solely on the Exarch before them, but his attacks were strong. How long their secretive summoner could hold on against them was a mystery. Though the Warrior of Light was rather sure, that it wouldn’t be too long.

It would have been an entirely different question, if they had gone into the confrontation without prior exhaustion. Sadly, the Lightwarden had send his minions ahead and so they were forced to battle it, while trying to stay upright – skin and armour riddled with gashes and holes, their energy slowly draining .

Around three hundred curses in eight different languages spoken all across Hydaelin popped up in Shias head, as soon as the thing began to spin.

“Run,” a horrified Lyna exclaimed. She was already on her feet, pulling a shocked Alphinaud with her. Alisaie followed on their heels.

Shia and the Exarch on the other hand had fallen behind a few paces. The monster balled his fists and smashed them onto the ground. Sprinting at full pace, Shia wouldn’t stop at time-

Something grabbed the lance mount on her back in a tight grip and pulled on it. The Warrior stumbled backwards, the thick white fists crashing down where she had just stood.

A few tumbling steps and she fell onto her bottom, thoroughly out of balance.

“Are you quite alright,” her hooded saviour was right at her side. He already offered her his arm to pull her up, “pardon my action, but we must stay focused.”

“No worries,” the woman mumbled and grabbed his crystal palm.

She shook her head and threw only one quick glance towards him. Where she had had a thousand angry thoughts about him on her mind, there suddenly were none. Just utter bewilderment and confusion. Truly, if one would have tossed a coin into the emptiness of her brain, the sounds would have echoed through the vast emptiness. Figuratively of course.

While Shia felt as if she had stared into the void of the Exarchs hood for eons, only a moment of time passed in the real world.

“… right.” She exhaled, only to raise her lance above her head, “we have been at this for too long. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Well, of course but-“

The rest of his words were lost in the aether as he watched his companion engulf herself in a pulsing aura. It looked as if a bright red wyrm had begun to circle around her. When she raised her weapon above her shoulder, the aether seemed to bundle around it, enclosing it an a ragged cocoon of pure energy.

“Piss off,” Shia spat and threw her lance at the enemy.

* * *

_We are wandering on the lonely road ahead_

_Leaving fear behind as long as you're on my side_

_Turn the key and come with me_

_The sentience within us liberates our frame of mind_

* * *

He was breathing hard – his body no longer accustomed to exhausting itself. The Warriors last attack though had finally done the job and send their foe where it belonged: On the ground.

The carcass was glowing. Of course, it had been white and shiny and somehow very ugly before. But now, dead and defeated, it began to dissolve. Millions of tiny little pieces of light split off, fluttering through the air, closing in on Shia.

The Warrior of Light reached out with her hand, embracing whatever strange energy the Lightwarden was exceeding.

He flinched – he didn’t want her to get hurt. But this had to happen. For everyone’s sake. Hopefully, he would be able to make it all up to her in the end.

The light engulfed Shia, covered her from head to toe. One of her arms rose towards the sky. A blinding blade of light split the clouds far above their heads.

Darkness.

Blessed, calming darkness.

And stars. Oh so very many stars.

The twins starred into the night sky, relief written all over their faces. They hadn’t seen it in a year.

Lyna on the other hand had been born after the light had begun to cover her world. And at the sight of the deep dark blue, she choked back her tears.

He felt the same. Relieved. Happy. But he had to uphold his demeanour, the Exarch was needed. So he spun a grand speech about her being the saviour and all.

Shias curiously excited face fell quickly and she looked even a little mad as soon as he got down on his knee.

But he did not care. He had to. Had to ask her again. To ask her, if she might try trusting him now. If she might give him and this world a chance. And therefore the source and it’s people, too.

His heart hammered against his crystalline chest and he took a deep breath before continuing.

It wasn’t easy to stay the Exarch right then and there. But he needed to. Had to.

“Even should it cost me all I have,” he bit his lip, trying not to say too much. “I would see each and every one of them slain, that this world might be spared from oblivion. Not only for the First, but for the Source as well. Save one and we save the other! But... be that as it may... I concede it was wrong of me to summon you to this fight against your will. I swear on my life, I will one day atone for that deed. But for the present... I beg you stay and see this fight to its conclusion. Cast down the Wardens, and restore Darkness to the First.”

Silence followed his plea. He didn’t dare to look up until-

“Well, it looks like I have no choice but to fight. So let’s make the best of it, shall we?”

Shias smile was a bit teasing but warm through and through. Genuine.

She would stay. She would fight. She would help safe them all.

“On behalf of the First, I offer you my deepest thanks.”

And for the first time in over a century, G’Raha Tia felt truly happy.

* * *

_Dreams navigate us in our search of liberty_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry - this literally took ages to finish and I don't know why. I had a lot of fun though, writing it all. :)  
> The cutscene following the last boss of Holminster Switch though is where I really really hate the Exarch. He is almost yelling strange praises about us. I don't like that moment. Probably one of the reasons why I actually did not trust him until we learn who he was. Like him as a character? Yes. But trust him as an ally in the story? Hell no. Also: Haurchefant taught me not to get too attached. ^^" 
> 
> As always: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! If you have any critique or things you specifically liked, please don't hesitate to leave a comment. :3  
> Thank you!
> 
> Your Usagi


	11. I Need Some Sleep - Chapter IX in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Everyone says I'm getting down to low, Everyone says you just gotta let it go_  
>  I Need Some Sleep by Eels
> 
> **The other was, that everything that had happened with the Crystal Tower on the source, felt like a distant dream; a nightmare she had half forgotten. It had been so very disjointed from the rest of her life, that at some point she asked herself, if it had happened at all. Clearing the labyrinth, entering the tower and travelling to a whole different world..? Dimension..? Just to safe some friends?**

_I need some sleep_   
_You can't go home like this_   
_I try counting sheep_   
_But there's one I always miss_

* * *

Night. Most blessed night.

Stars twinkling high above in the sky and a cool breeze gently messing up sweaty locks of whiteish blonde hair.

Shia had never thought that she one day could miss the time of day she disliked the most, for it was the silent time of day: when everyone quieted down and she would be alone with her thoughts.

It usually was the time she would use to close some gaps in her education. The time, when she would sit in one of the many libraries across Eorzea and study a topic she didn't know enough about yet. In Uld’ah, she would read about economics, while Limsa Lominsa was host to an abundance of tomes on sailing and geography. The Scion’s libraries in the Waking Sands and Rising Stones were filled with knowledge from Sharlya and Ishgard-

Ishgard was the one she avoided. There were so many people who would simply walk up to her and ask, if they could help and what she was reading about. And there had always been people she didn't wish to know about her lack of knowledge in certain areas. So the books on religion and weather (not included in Count Edmunds extensive collection) had to wait.

Instead, Shia had used every nightly opportunity to dive into the scrolls provided by a rather eager Hien of Doma. When he had first found her hidden away in a corner, reading with dimmed lights to not attract anyone's attention, he had been intrigued. And somehow, telling him about her rather lackluster education didn't feel so bad. He was just a generally kind and reassuring person. And when he heard of her plight, he was more than happy to provide the Warrior of Light with a room of her own and a mountain of knowledge to work through step by step, scroll by scroll. And he would even sometimes join her and her efforts. The only one who might have known about the two friends studying together might have been Yugiri. And if she knew, she kept it well to herself.

Even now on the First, Shia felt the need to hide away in some dusty corner, far from Morrens curious eyes, and begin to read up on whatever topic she would get her hands on first.

After partly catching up to the Scions’ knowledge about the Source, she was now miles behind them concernign the First. And of course: Old habits die hard.

But not tonight. Tonight she would indulge her friends and stay out with them. After all, when was it that Alisaie and Alphinaud were both in the mood for a celebration? Usually, one of them – Alphinaud more often than not – would remind them of their obligations and any and all celebrating was cut short.

But tonight they would party to honour their first step towards saving the first.

Ale was passed around in barrels as the people of the Crystarium danced in the starlight. Children ran around, their cheers echoing through the night. A band was playing in the plaza before the tower and people were dancing.

Alisaie sat on a barrel in the back, a tankard in her hands, silently humming. Her amused gaze followed her brother, who has fallen into the hands of a few very eager citizens, who had roped the teen into a polonaise. Reluctantly, he had agreed and the young mans gaze was halfway between amused and bemused.

Shia had to giggle at the thought and took a big sip from her tankard. She had a perfect view from where she stood.

“If you may … no … do you perhaps have a moment to spare?” A familiar and usually much stronger voice pulled the not-so-well-read celebrant from her thoughts.

To her left, a hooded figure had approached. The Exarch was fumbling with his fingers. Probably for the lack of something to hold on to.

Peculiar. And maybe a tiny bit endearing.

“Of course, but do tell me,” her lips curled into a teasing smile, “where is your cup? Don't you wish to drink with the rest of us?”

“Well, you see. I am not quite certain that would be a good idea.” He turned his head, half shaking it, half nodding in apology.

Shia only shrugged. “It's your choice, of course. But let me assure you,” she took another big sip and licked her lips, “everything tastes better after a good days worth of work.”

“Indeed,” a nervous chuckle.

“So, what can I do for you, Exarch? I mean,” deep breaths, she reminded herself, “except for saving your world?”

He finally stopped playing with his fingers. “Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about-“

“Oh come on! There must be something else you would like to speak about. How about…” she thought for a moment, her gaze flying over the crowd of people around them. She saw them celebrating, children laughing, adults in awe of the sky.

A thought manifested in her mind and Shia took a deep breath before turning towards him.

“Exarch… let me ask you something first, alright?”

He nodded. Confused..? Hard to tell thanks to the hood.

“Please tell me, who are you exactly..? Are you from this world? How do you know so much? How do you know me..? Just… how and why?”

He was silent for a moment, seemingly examining her in search of … mayhap ill intent?

Finally, he rose his voice.

“Those are many questions and you deserve answers to all of them. But please forgive me – tonight is not the time.”

Shia rolled her eyes. She hadn’t really expected him to answer. “I will pry no further. Just… there is one other thing I was wondering… it has nothing to do with you as a person, but I'd hope you can give me an answer. You are the authority on the Crystal Tower after all.”

He gave a short bow.

“You have peaked my curiosity. I shall try my best to answer your question.”

She looked at him for a moment, before taking a big gulp from her quickly emptying cup.

_Well. Now or never,_ she guessed.

“I know the Crystal Tower. It appeared on the source some moons ago. Of my time of course. I'd think you know about this?”

“I am aware of your endeavours to clear and conquer the tower on the Source. You had moderate success, if I am not mistaken?”

“Success is a big word. We did clear it. That is,” Shia inhaled deeply, bracing herself against what she was about to say, “… so… I went there to help some of the best people I know: Cid and the amazing crew of the Iron Works. Together, we cleared the Labyrinth of the Ancients, a structure that does not exist here on the first. We entered the tower a few weeks later I faced off against the creatures within. And finally, we rescued an,” and she gave air quotes with the next word, even though their relationship had remarkably improved over the most recent events with Omega, “ally from the world of darkness and foiled the plans of its strongest inhabitant to conquer the Source.”

She stopped for a moment to drink the last of her now lukewarm ale.

“It sounds like quite the adventure. I'd be delighted to hear the whole story – if you'd care to share, that is.”

“Hmmm maybe someday. What I want to know is… What I really want to know is…” she closed her eyes and took another deep breath.

She had hoped the question would be easier to articulate. It had been months after all. Still. There was that stinging feeling in her chest and she quickly rubbed her eyes, when water collected in the corners. Thankfully, the Exarch didn't say anything.

_Pull yourself together!_

“I couldn't have done any of it without my friends. I wouldn’t even have been there without my friends. And… Well, there was someone very dear to me. And he... he...” She closed her eyes. “He locked himself inside the tower.”

The Exarch nodded sideways in confusion. “Locked himself inside the tower..? If I am not mistaken, what you are saying is, that you lost said friend..?”

“He did not die,” she explained, “at least, not that I know. He was the last of the royal allagan line. You know, the ruling family who allegedly built the tower on the Source and are allegidly the only ones who can use it. If I think about it… we will have to double check that theory when I am home.”

“Interesting. But why would you mention such an individual? From the look on your face and the way you speak about him, hit seems to me he was rather dear to you.”

There it was. No turning back now.

“His name was… is G'Raha Tia. He locked himself into the tower, to prevent its misuse by the hands of someone with bad intentions or a lack of knowledge. To why I mention him…” she trailed off for a moment, the Crystariums revelry slowly fading out.

Memories of a grinning young man flashed before her eyes. Enthusiasm shining in beautifully mismatched eyes. A tiny, cheeky red braid bouncing up and down. The excited flutter of a pair of cherry coloured ears. The smell of old leather on even older books. Light pedals on dark shoulder pads. The faint sound of fiddles. Spring in Gridania. Long nights at a campfire. That one morning in the mountains. When they had-

“… he was very dear to me,” she finally concluded, “and I was wondering, if you knew of him. If you perhaps have any idea about what might have happened to him.” Her gaze searched the darkness beneath his hood, trying to find his eyes to no avail. “You are the only other person with a similar connection to the tower that I know of.”

The Exarch was silent for a moment, presumably pondering her question.

“I do not know of such an individual. I am sorry, but I cannot be of assistance to you in this matter. Did this G’Raha Tia mean a lot to you?”

Her mouth was suddenly very dry.

“… he did,” Shia wanted to take another sip, but her tankard was already empty. “I am sorry to have brought it up. But I wish to be honest with you: When I heard your voice for the first time, when we first talked and such … I thought I recognised his voice. You both even smell similar,” she tapped her nose. “But he is from the Source. You are from the First. Knowing what I know now, the thought of the two of you being one and the same seems ridiculous to me. I hope I did not offend.”

She yawned.

“You did not offend in any way. Truly, I am grateful to hear, that you have always had such staunch allies by your side.” He hesitated for a moment. “I hope to be such an ally to you too in the battles to come. If you would have me.“

Shia gave him a tired smile.

„Well. Considering all your secrets and mishaps so far, I must compliment you on your almost stubborn support for us and the First. But,“ she gave a bow of her own, hoping he knew she meant it in jest, „if you will excuse me, I am rather tired.“

He didn't object, citing his own tiredness.

She smiled.

At least her mysterious summoner had a dash of humour, too.

* * *

_Everyone says I'm getting down to low_   
_Everyone says you just gotta let it go_   
_You just gotta let it go_   
_You just gotta let it go_

* * *

Her room in the Pendants was empty. Not, that she had expected anyone. But she kind of had. She was slowly getting used to her new ghostly companion, though she didn't expect him to be there of course.

Alone in the small space she called her own, Shia opened the window to gaze at the clear night sky just a bit more. A cool breeze grazing her skin.

“You have done well,” she whispered to herself. “Just a bit longer and you can go back home. And start getting on the rest of your stuff. I'm sure Garlemald is going to wait with invading again until you are home…” A grimace.

Shias thoughts touched several corners of her mind before finally deciding on heading to bed: her friends. Home. The Ascians. The Rising Stones. And finally, they came full circle to her conversation with the Exarch.

At last she had gotten the courage to ask about him. About G'Raha. And he had said he didn't know anything.

What had she expected him to say? That he knew her? No. No she hadn't. But she had hoped for more. For something. Anything at all.

The doors to the tower had closed so many moons ago. He was lost to her. But she wished she knew if he was well at the least. They hadn’t gone their separate ways because of a misunderstanding or argument or because they did no longer care for each other. They had gone their separate ways, because G’Raha Tia had to pull the drama card and decided to take matters into his own hands, without discussing the matter with his friends and colleagues beforehand. Or with her, for that matter.

Had she felt like he should have talked to her about it? Yes, definitely.

After everything they had been through, after all those long conversations about him wanting to keep on supporting her. Yes, she had been under the strong impression, that he would talk to her about … life changing decisions.

So if someone could have known, it would have been the exarch for sure. But he did not know. And to be quite honest, how could he. They were from different worlds after all and Shia did not truly understand everything just yet.

But her wish to know was only one side of the medal.

The other was, that everything that had happened with the Crystal Tower on the source, felt like a distant dream; a nightmare she had half forgotten. It had been so very disjointed from the rest of her life, that at some point she asked herself, if it had happened at all. Clearing the labyrinth, entering the tower and travelling to a whole different world..? Dimension..? Just to safe some friends?

It felt surreal.

And sometimes, so did the feelings she had had for a certain scholar. And sometimes, she asked herself, if she ever truly had felt what she thought, she had.

Had she ever truly felt, what she thought she had felt for him? Had she ever grieved him..?

Following the closing of the towers doors, she had taken the direct route to Uld’ah, where she and the Scions were accused of killing the Sultana. Their subsequent escape to Coerthas, going to Dravania to treat with Nidhogg, the turmoil in Ishgard, the Vault, the end of the Dragonsong war. And when she finally returned to Mor Dhona more permanently, they had to deal with the Griffin, Baelsars wall, the Ala Mhigan and doman revolutions, travelling to new worlds, seeing uncharted territories, the war with Garlemald and the Scions in peril.

And those were just the things concerning her job.

There had been no time to mourn a lost lover.

… Lover. Such a strange term.

Was that really what they had been? Lovers?

Shia stopped herself right then and there. Whatever they had been, whatever they might have been- it didn’t matter.

She would be long dead and gone the day he would reopen his eyes. _If_ he ever did.

No need to fret over him.

Over what had been. Over what might have been.

Shia sighed and closed the windows again. Her bed was calling and her tired body answered by simply falling atop of it.

* * *

_I need some sleep_   
_Time to put the old horse down_   
_I'm in too deep_   
_And the wheels keep spinning round_

_Everyone says I'm getting down to low_   
_Everyone says you just gotta let it go_   
  


* * *

Sleep didn't seem to come easy to her. The warrior of light was tossing around, from the left to the right. Her simple sleeping garments were entangled with the blanket, the cushion unceremoniously fallen to the floor. She seemingly hadn't bothered braiding her hair this night, so it messily stuck to her sweaty face.

The Crystal Tower was a quiet as always, only humming slightly and the Occular was dark with the sole exception of a lightly shining oval at the wall atop the stairs.

A pair of crystalline fingers carefully brushed over the image of a restless Warrior.

“'this alright,” the Exarch whispered to the cold stone, “you are safe and I will make sure you stay that way. I promise you this.”

The hand of flesh and blood carefully brushed the hood back.

The reflection of pale face framed by fading hair of formerly intense red overlapped with the vision of a calming blonde. A pair of ruby coloured eyes watching her with an almost pained expression.

Fighting alongside her had felt so incredible. To watch her dominate he battlefield with unheard strength and grace. If only half the tales he had heard held an ounce of truth…

_Imperial Nuisance, Azure Dragoon, Defender of Eorzea, Nidhogg Slayer, the Gear of Change, Stormblood, Hope Incarnate._

Her final title was so much more than just that. The people of “his” time had adopted it from the novelisation of her adventures in Ishgard. Nobody could have known, that Haurchefants words would not only be her epitaph, but also the peoples rallying call. With time, it became a prayer.

Shia Tamriel, the cheerful miqote he had known as a young man, had become the glorified symbol of peace, freedom, prosperity and hope. A deity in her very own right. And he didn’t have the heart to tell those who woke him, that she actually had been the biggest dork he ever had the pleasure of knowing.

When he had gone to sleep, he knew he would never see his friends again. Would never see her again. But waking up to the news of her horrifying demise still struck him. He hadn’t dared to disclose how _close_ they had been to his rescuers, but he said enough to make them understand his pain.

They told him about the deeds he had not been there to witness; about her many titles and perceived incarnations.

He had been so proud of everything she had achieved. And yet, her death and the fall of Eorzea had rendered everything she had stood for for naught.

For one hundred years he had asked himself, what it would be like to see her again. If he would be able to stay composed. To enact his plan. Their plan.

And he had managed so well so far.

But when she had asked him about “G'Raha Tia”, he had almost slipped.

Almost.

Hearing his name after such a long time - and from her lips, nonetheless. But he was grateful for his one hundred years of training in patience and stoicism. Not a word had slipped past his formerly much looser lips. Not a twitch in his expression.

A warm tingling feeling rose in his chest and trembling fingers carefully caressed the surface of the mirror, as if trying to brush the hair from her forehead.

_If I could only touch her..._

He pushed the impulse into the furthest corner of his mind, closed the door and turned the key.

Perhaps it was a good idea to keep his distance for a while. If simply spending time close to her reignited his feelings for her like this; if it imperriled his mission like this, there was no telling what he might do the moment he could no longer hold back.

And there was still a plan to be executed.

He could simply not afford to lose his composure.

Yet.

* * *

_You just gotta let it go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the song "I Need Some Sleep" from Shrek 2 and I really like it. Also, I really need sleep. I've gotten a new job and my commute is like ... three hours per day now and I have to get up at 6 a.m. This is probably nothing for other people, but to me, this is like... really early and in between spending 9 to 11 hours per day at work, I've been pretty exhausted.   
> Then again, I am using the time on the train to keep on writing and this is the very first chapter I wrote 90 % of on mobile. I'd rather not, but since I don't have my laptop with me on the train... I'll take it. :D
> 
> Concerning this chapter:   
> They just won their first major fight and everybody is celebrating. I wanted to put the emphasis on how hard this is for the both of them. Shia is second guessing her "gut", which is telling her "that's your dead (?) boyfriend", while G'Raha is struggling not to just tell her everything. She still doesn't trust him entirely and he is about to break his Exarch persona, because G'Raha Tia is _missing_ her.   
> But we all know why he is not breaking his charade right now.  
> Also, nightmares don't just disappear from one night to the next and now Shia has another battle to add to her collection of traumatic experiences. And it ain't getting better.   
> (Having played 5.2, I'd like to apply my WoL for an extensive rehab somewhere far far away from all that stuff in the MSQ.)
> 
> Anyways! Thank you for reading!!  
> I hope you enjoyed this rather solemn chapter. Please, do leave a kudos or even a coment if you did. 
> 
> Your Usagi


End file.
